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Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

Door to Door Dealings

Just had a visitor at the door.

I answered it and found a twenty-something guy dressed in torn jeans and a sloppy, damp t-shirt who immediately starts in on a schpiel about his cleaning product.

I watch as he demonstrates its safe, non-toxic formula by slurping the sprayer tube of the bottle he's carrying. This is when I notice all visible teeth are gold. Classy.

He moves on to his next demonstration which explains the damp, dissheveled t-shirt. He produces an ink pen from his back pocket and begins to scribble on a dry corner of his shirt, then sprays his miracle product on it and wipes the ink away with another cloth.

The whole time he's speed talking, I'm pushing Frankie out of the doorway with my foot so he doesn't get out. As soon as my new friend notices my dog, he decides to tell me this product is a perfect dog shampoo.

Just as quickly as that idea popped into his head, he decided that we have black mold on our porch and this cleaner eliminates all black mold. So he scrubs a spot on my painted, non-moldy porch.

Finally, we get down to the brass tacks: $33 for the bottle. I tell him I'm sorry, but I can't spend $33 on a bottle of cleaner. This is when Mr. Salesman-of-the-year lost his cool. He became irritated telling me that the people 4 blocks down in the ghetto (his words) didn't think $33 was too much. The people with houses that cost $80,000 less than my house (my house didn't cost $80,000) didn't think $33 was too much. He then made some comment about my car parked out front (a Buick - nothing extravagant) that I couldn't understand and how this is the nicest house on the block and he couldn't believe we couldn't spend $33 on a bottle of cleaner, when we surely spend more than that now.

I was shocked, but still managed to repeat myself. "I'm sorry. I can't spend $33 on a bottle of cleaner". He demanded his brochure back (he never gave me one) and picked up his bag from the porch.

I told him to have a nice day. He didn't reply.

im never home when these things happen. and there is no mold on my porch, dirt maybe...
JimTheLimey   Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I know what you mean.

Last summer I got hit by these "cleaner" sales people like 5 times in 3 weeks. They never let you get a word and they like to clean odd things on your porch.

Finally, when the last person, it was a 19-20 yr old ratty looking girl, knocked on my door and started her presentation, I waited until she cleaned the metal thing underneath my door (brain cramp totally forgot what it is called), and I asked her if the cleaner worked on blood.

She said yes and I said good because I have a bunch of blood splattered all over my basement and I need to get it cleaned up before the cops get here. I asked her if she wanted to come and prove that it worked......

She looked at me sort of weird and picked her stuff up and left...
RickMonday   Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Rick, you are too much.

I can't believe you tolerated the sales pitch that long. I would have stopped him early and told him I wasn't interested (after I pointed to my sign saying no soliciting). No one has ever or will ever sell me anything door-to-door and with a hard sales pitch ANYWHERE. If it requires that hard a sale--it must not be that good. A good product will speak for itself or someone will tell me about it word-of-mouth and get me interested. Maybe they should smile, give a sample and say "Call me if you are interested".
LGrant   Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I talk tough but I am a sucker at heart. I actually feel for these kids, although most of them have a screw loose somewhere
RickMonday   Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Ames, I worry about you answering the door to a stranger. What if he had a gun? Too many crazy people out there.
Leslie   Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Hilarious Rick! I'll have to remember that one.

Linda- The sales pitch went on for this long solely for the reason Rick mentioned: I just couldn't even get a word in. Also, I don't dare put a no soliciting sign in my door because then the little kids with the Kathryn Beich candy bars wouldn't come to my door and THOSE I am a sucker for! Yum!

Leslie- Many times I don't answer the door when I'm alone and I really don't have a good reason for why I did it this time except that it was a nice day out so I had the blinds open and I felt a little guilty that the guy could see me sitting five feet away and not coming to the door. I had second thoughts after his reaction though.
Ames   Wednesday, April 22, 2009
That dude hit us up last year. We had a screaming match. I kept telling him we weren't interested and about to eat dinner, but he wouldn't leave! Dave didn't close the door on him because he was stupefied by the consumption of the cleaning fluid.

Oh, and he cleaned a rust spot from our sidewalk.
Courtney Heinzel   Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Courtney, OMG you are right.....my sidewalk in front of my porch has to be the cleanest in town. I totally forgot about that....lol
RickMonday   Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Next time just wave and say NO THANKS! If he tries to talk to you through the window, just go to another part of the house. LOL
LGrant   Wednesday, April 22, 2009
If I see someone come to the door and I don't recognize them or aren't expecting someone, I generally don't answer the door. That includes when they can see me 5 feet away; I just ignore them.
LimeyGeorge   Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I have a pretty solid metal door with no windows whatsoever, so no one can see inside. But I always look out the window before answering the door because usually it's some neighbor kid whose ball has miraculously "floated" into my backyard and s/he wants me to retrieve it, which I never do--my motto is, "If you can't control your ball, play elsewhere."

However, I do enjoy answering my door every once in awhile accompanied by Kai...that generally sends any non-legitimate folks stumbling over themselves down my porch steps. :O)
Angi   Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I think the new rule will be I'll only answer the door when I'm clearly taller than them and they appear to be holding boxes of candy bars or Girl Scout cookies.

I answered the door to a little girl the other day and helped her through her sales pitch until I saw she was selling Kathryn Beich and then I got all sidetracked and stopped concentrating on what she was saying.
Ames   Wednesday, April 22, 2009
MMMMMM Kathryn Beich caramel bar, yum!
K8Day   Thursday, April 23, 2009
Hands off, lady! It's mine!

I've reconsidered. Since you're carrying my neice you may have half.
Ames   Thursday, April 23, 2009
I'm going to have to look into these Kathryn Beich candy bars!!!
Sue Stark :)   Friday, April 24, 2009
OMG I love the Kathyrn Beich Caramel bars too! I, like Angi, love to answer the door with my 100+ pound pit bull mix. What they don't know is what a sweetheart he is. People usually don't bother me too much...
soundchick   Friday, April 24, 2009
but if the pitbull eats the little girl... you can take her kathryn beich caramel bars...
JimTheLimey   Friday, April 24, 2009
Yes Jim, but not to prison. LOL

Oh, and I used to like Kathryn Beich Carmel Bars when they were Kathryn Beich ONLY. Now, Nestle has butted in and bought the joint and put their nasty-a$$ chocolate in them, so they suck. They're also way smaller than they used to be and cost you $1.00/each.

So, no thanks...I'll spend my money on Ghirardelli, Godiva or Dove. You girls can fight over 'em!
Angi   Friday, April 24, 2009
Nestle's been a part of Kathryn Beich for almost as long as I've been alive so I know no other way. Love 'em just the way they are!
Ames   Friday, April 24, 2009
Yum, I was tempted to steal one of your caramel bars the other night, but since I was the only other person there, besides Liam, I was sure I would get caught!
K8Day   Friday, April 24, 2009
What this is pretty creepy. My person looked exactly what you are describing. I sort of feel bad for these people. It can not be a fun job. And from what they are wearing I assume it does not pay well.
Ben H   Thursday, April 30, 2009
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