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Sunday, May 18th, 2008
Weekend = SURVIVED!
So I survuved my challenge weekend. I can't necessarily say "With flying colors", yet. Afterall, as most of you know, I can't step on the scale til morning (first thing, naked, after I pee, before I shower). So we shall see, but it felt like triumph.
I told you that the rest of my family is pretty much all over weight (except the kids). So as I faced that this weekend, I think I was more aware of their eating habits and so forth. For one, the first thing I saw when I entered my brother's kitchen was a huge container of my mom's homemade cookies. First thought? "Mmmmmm....those are the good ones!" I opened the lid, broke one in half, and then in half again. I tasted it and remembered - yup, they ARE good. By the end of the weekend, I had eaten ONE entire cookie (the other 3/4 of the one I broke the first day). First mission - yeah, me!!!!
I was saving myself for later, afterall we had a celebration on the way in the evening which meant - cake. Yes, I had some. It was good. I ate a small inside piece, scraped the excess frosting (the piping part) off the edges, and enjoyed it fully. This is where the observing began. Everyone else in my family obviously had cake as well. Fine. There was a cause to celebrate - let's do it.
I noticed later that evening though, that EVERYONE but myself and my dad, had another piece of cake before going to bed. Ugh. I SHUDDER to think the last time that I actually ate 2 pieces of cake in the same day, more less one right before bed! Now that might sound a bit cynical to sweet lovers, which I admittedly am not. However, this pattern continued throughout the weekend (clearly, we overbought in the cake department!!). Cake for breakfast, cake for snacks, cake for dessert when we got home after already having dessert at the restaurant (not me, them). It was CRAZY! I wanted to jump up and down and scream and shout - HELLO!?!?!? Do you wonder why you look like THAT?!?! But of course, I did not.
One of the nights, we had a cook-out. I was trying very hard to focus on my own eating habits and ignore everyone else's, but I have to say that watching can be a learning experience as well. The tale of what not to do. We filed through the line, and finally everyone sat down. I looked at my plate and thought - WOW! That's a looooooot of food. So I started to eat. As I ate and chatted, I soon realized that my plate of a grilled burger w/ swiss (no bun), mustard on the side, some fresh veggies from the veggie tray, a couple of spoonfuls of baked beans, and ice water was what I called "a lot". Weird? Yeah, I guess. When compared to the heaping piles of potato salad, chips, dressings, and desserts, I guess I was the "oddity". But it was ok.
In the end I noticed that not one person said anything about the weight that I had lost. "Maybe you just don't see them often enough for them to notice," I told myself. Then the last moment, my mom says - "You're lookin' good! I can tell you've lost a lot of weight!" Thank God someone noticed. So I tell her, no I wouldn't say a "lot" but some yes and thanks for noticing.
It was a a fun weekend. A weird one for my mind-frame and diet, but I survived with honors, I belive. I came out feeling good about myself, strong and lean, and ready to face the gym again tomorrow morning.
I hope this isn't just one of those bumper sticker situations - "God, if I can't be skinny please make all of my friends fat!". Or the country song - what is it about "why do the best looking girls, have real fat friends?" Sad thought, but one to ponder! I don't mean to say that I drew strength from my family's fatness. Just that I found strength in myself by being there. And well honestly, seeing what you COULD be, is a startling wake-up.
Weekend = SURVIVED!
So I survuved my challenge weekend. I can't necessarily say "With flying colors", yet. Afterall, as most of you know, I can't step on the scale til morning (first thing, naked, after I pee, before I shower). So we shall see, but it felt like triumph.
I told you that the rest of my family is pretty much all over weight (except the kids). So as I faced that this weekend, I think I was more aware of their eating habits and so forth. For one, the first thing I saw when I entered my brother's kitchen was a huge container of my mom's homemade cookies. First thought? "Mmmmmm....those are the good ones!" I opened the lid, broke one in half, and then in half again. I tasted it and remembered - yup, they ARE good. By the end of the weekend, I had eaten ONE entire cookie (the other 3/4 of the one I broke the first day). First mission - yeah, me!!!!
I was saving myself for later, afterall we had a celebration on the way in the evening which meant - cake. Yes, I had some. It was good. I ate a small inside piece, scraped the excess frosting (the piping part) off the edges, and enjoyed it fully. This is where the observing began. Everyone else in my family obviously had cake as well. Fine. There was a cause to celebrate - let's do it.
I noticed later that evening though, that EVERYONE but myself and my dad, had another piece of cake before going to bed. Ugh. I SHUDDER to think the last time that I actually ate 2 pieces of cake in the same day, more less one right before bed! Now that might sound a bit cynical to sweet lovers, which I admittedly am not. However, this pattern continued throughout the weekend (clearly, we overbought in the cake department!!). Cake for breakfast, cake for snacks, cake for dessert when we got home after already having dessert at the restaurant (not me, them). It was CRAZY! I wanted to jump up and down and scream and shout - HELLO!?!?!? Do you wonder why you look like THAT?!?! But of course, I did not.
One of the nights, we had a cook-out. I was trying very hard to focus on my own eating habits and ignore everyone else's, but I have to say that watching can be a learning experience as well. The tale of what not to do. We filed through the line, and finally everyone sat down. I looked at my plate and thought - WOW! That's a looooooot of food. So I started to eat. As I ate and chatted, I soon realized that my plate of a grilled burger w/ swiss (no bun), mustard on the side, some fresh veggies from the veggie tray, a couple of spoonfuls of baked beans, and ice water was what I called "a lot". Weird? Yeah, I guess. When compared to the heaping piles of potato salad, chips, dressings, and desserts, I guess I was the "oddity". But it was ok.
In the end I noticed that not one person said anything about the weight that I had lost. "Maybe you just don't see them often enough for them to notice," I told myself. Then the last moment, my mom says - "You're lookin' good! I can tell you've lost a lot of weight!" Thank God someone noticed. So I tell her, no I wouldn't say a "lot" but some yes and thanks for noticing.
It was a a fun weekend. A weird one for my mind-frame and diet, but I survived with honors, I belive. I came out feeling good about myself, strong and lean, and ready to face the gym again tomorrow morning.
I hope this isn't just one of those bumper sticker situations - "God, if I can't be skinny please make all of my friends fat!". Or the country song - what is it about "why do the best looking girls, have real fat friends?" Sad thought, but one to ponder! I don't mean to say that I drew strength from my family's fatness. Just that I found strength in myself by being there. And well honestly, seeing what you COULD be, is a startling wake-up.
My husband hates it when I am dieting because I can't help pointing out his lack of exercise and the heaping plates of food that he consumes. If I have to suffer so does he! :)
PS. My family reunion is next Sunday, and I'm taking an avacado, tomato and cucumber summer salad. God knows what else will be there besides fried chicken!
I, on the other hand, went camping this weekend and had about 32 s'mores, so you can use me as a "what NOT to do" example.