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Monday, May 5th, 2008
What Your Friends and Neighbors Do to YOU!

Ever thought about the effect of the people who simply live and breathe around you could be? What do your friends and neighbors do to you, without you really knowing it? I could go on for hours about this topic, because well, I've had some friends and - I've had some neighbors. The social ramifications aside....

Have you ever heard the phrase "your friends can make you fat"? I think it's true. However, I also think your friends can make you thin. Case in point: A few years ago I lived in a different neighborhood. It was small, somewhat rural, and "low-budget" (to be nice about it I guess). Truth be told, we were all pretty much living in redneck-Disney. It was a fun place to live. It definitely had it's perks.

For the past 4 years, we have lived in a much larger (like by about 300 more houses) development. I'd have to say that in here it is a little less likely to have Jeff Foxworthy as a neighbor than it was before. But I have also noticed a trend. You have probably already figured out that I often think TOO HARD about things. Particularly true when it comes to my lard butt. But I digress...

I have often pondered this "friends make you fat" theory with some of my friends. We always try to determine which one of us is making the rest fat and on and on.But this really hit home to me recently when I ran into a neighbor from the OLD "hood". 4 years had passed, keep in mind. True, I am on a journey to lose weight here, so clearly I wasn't the darling I was 4 years ago either. I gotta say (just to you guys) she looked rough. That's ok though, life hands us stuff, ya know? Problem being, a few short moments later I also saw her sister (same neighborhood). She was looking a little rough too. Now, clearly I can't make a blanket statement about the world based on these two sisters. However, it did spark me to think about the other people that I know.

What made me decide that I needed to be more fit? I'm not really sure. I have to ponder though, if I still lived in the "old" neighborhood, would it be as important to me now? There's a lot of influences here now - everyone is health conscious, fit, and oh yeah - we have a pool to think about.

We recently had some neighbors move in from Alabama. They are both overweight, and don't seem to care a whole lot that they are. Lest I jump to conclusions - I won't stereotype them for being from the deep South (although, I gotta say I love some eatin' like those folks do!!). Anyway.... they went "home" for an event that they have every year with their friends. They pictures they brought back looked like an absolute BLAST! I could hang with those folks! However, I also noticed something else.....they all looked just like them! They were overweight, and didn't seem to care a bit.

So do we gravitate towards people that we want to look like? Or do we find comfort in people who are "like us" because it makes it ok? It's not like I want to choose my friends based on what they look like or their body composition, AT ALL. I just think it is interesting to note what we may do subconsciously already!
6 Comments
igna83
1) Well, I have other theories: happiness makes us fat, stress makes us fat, poverty makes us fat, lack of education makes us fat, genes make us fat, etc. I could go on and on and on; however, the truth of the matter is, fat people are fat because of one reason - overeating. Plain and simple.

I mean, if you are a woman who wants to weigh 200 lbs., then you'd eat a 2000-calorie-a-day diet. If you want to weigh less, eat less calories. Pretty simple, right? I know this because 200 lbs. has been my GOAL WEIGHT for almost three years!

Why haven't I arrived? Because I eat too much. Period. Oh, and I don't exercise. At all. I hate it, frankly. Does this mean that I give up? No. I face each new day as if it were the first day, and I try my best. I don't want to have surgery to correct MY mistakes, and each ounce on my 5' 5" frame was put there by me...no friends. No family. No one. ME! So, it's up to me to take those pounds off.

I wish you the best of luck attaining the goals you have set for yourself, and I'm happy to read your blogs during your journey. They get me thinking about my own situation and how I can change even more. Thanks for that!
Angi   Monday, May 5, 2008
FITNOTFAT
2) Angi - I agree with you...with a caveat (of course). It is pretty simple - on paper at least. In real life, not so simple. Sadly, poverty and lack of education make us fat in a LOT of ways. Carbs are cheap. Potatoes, beans and rice could sustain us - very inexpensively and much to the detriment of the scale. Happiness? I think it makes us thinner - IN MY OPINION! The happiest moments of my life are the thinnest as well (barring childbirth, obviously - wasn't feelin' so thin then! LOL) But other than that, I find that, I hate to use the word "depression" because I am not certain that it is that extreme - but maybe "down" times in my life often lead to heavy times. I just sparked myself a new blog in my head! :)

Good luck to you. YOU CAN DO IT. (I actually have that written in dry-erase on my bathroom mirror, it helps!). By the way, I am 5'5" as well, so I know the frame you struggle against. GO FOR IT! Good for you for facing each new day as "Day One". It is. It can be. Today is the day. Go!
FitNotFat   Monday, May 5, 2008
FITNOTFAT
3) Apologies... after re-reading this, I wanted to say one more thing! :)

Genes: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I know. I have them and hate them. My parents are and have been overweight all of my life. I NEVER saw them exercise (minus working in the yard). I could spin a whole new blog about this easily, but all I wanted to mention was this...

I read an awesome quote a few weeks ago. To paraphrase ('cuz my memory sucks!) it said something to the effect that Genes don't make you fat. Genes determine who COULD be fat.

It's all about what you do with it. (not easy....)
FitNotFat   Monday, May 5, 2008
ppike
4) No, it's NOT easy! And some people do have bodies that seem to work against them, which seems so unfair. And then we have this f%#$ed up society that thinks women should look like anorexic 13 year olds. The hardest thing for all of us to do AND teach our children to do is to love ourselves the way we are. When you are extremely overweight it is a health issue, otherwise it is all about how we all feel about ourselves. Yes, I feel better when I am a certain size and weight but I don't want that to define me!! And sometimes it does. I don't think that is healthy.

My two issues are exercise and eating REAL food, not empty carbs and processed food. Finding a way to exercise that is fun and enjoyable is so important and can be so hard. The exercise is what keeps us healthy, no matter what weight we are. My goal is to strive to be healthy and not worry so much about looks. Because, if it's not the weight then it becomes aging that makes us not feel good about how we look!!! And there isn't much we can do about that besides real food and excercise. Except plastic surgery, which seems like blasphemy to me.

So, hang in there, girls. But love yourselves however you are!!!!!!
pegi   Monday, May 5, 2008
5) Hmmm, it will be interesting to note the weight of the new folks in a year. Will they change their eating habits etc. because of the new neighborhood?
Ericka Perkins   Monday, May 5, 2008
igna83
6) Great comments, all - and if the neighbors are happy--just like at many family gatherings--they'll eat more when they are together. It's like I said above: happiness makes us fat. Though I also agree that happiness can be felt when thin; however, if we are not happy with ourselves and our lives, our bodies don't matter.

Maybe if everyone brought good food to gatherings, it would get better. Just like the husband at work; every dang day someone brings a couple dozen donuts. He hates that! It's too tempting for him.

So I told him to bring something healthier one morning, and he took in his favorite fruits (strawberries, blackberries, peaches), nuts (cashews, sunflower seeds, almonds) and hot tea (Earl Grey/Mint) with a bag of ice. Everyone thought that was GREAT! Also, no one complained about being bloated or feeling "blah" by 10:30am.

Has it stopped the donuts? No, but they do come less often, usually once a week, and on the other days, people have followed suit by bringing in their favorite 'breakfasty' items, so it's a start!

Now, I'm facing our annual family reunion on Memorial Day weekend, which always breeds SUPER-fattening foods--potato salad, cheesy potatoes, coleslaw, fried chicken and a ton of desserts. Besides being loaded with carbs, all of these dishes sit out on a table for up to two hours! YIKES!! However, this year, I will be making a dish that I love in the summer: tomato-cucumber salad. It's fresh, raw veggies with a couple dressings available "on the side" for each person to decide what/how much they want, if any. At least I'll know that I have an option for myself and my family that doesn't harbor both emotional and physical feelings after eating crap.

Continued success to all of us who long to be "fit, not fat" - HA!!
Angi   Tuesday, May 6, 2008
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