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Saturday, March 9th, 2013

Insulin

There were lots of contributing factors to my resistance in using insulin. Some are simply due to my own personality, very Type A and super controlling! Other factors have caused me to be defensive and hesitant to trust, like my experience at PPA (previous OB) and the dieticians I encountered at the new office. I always approached the topic ready to draw my guns. I was immediately defensive because no one would tell me the things I needed to hear (the truth) about myself and the disease.

I prayed for healing; I prayed for God to change my attitude and heart. I prayed for wisdom and understanding. And sometimes I just got mad and cried out in anger about the whole thing. I did have revelation and understanding, but it didn't come until the proof was in my numbers, and I allowed my own pride to be broken.

The max number they want 2 hours post meal is 120. My elevated numbers were only slightly so, being 130-150. It was clear during my OB appointment 2 weeks ago that insulin was inevitable. As I approached the 28 week mark the numbers started to climb and the decision was made for me. I was not happy about not having control even thought I knew it was coming. So last Monday morning I called for an appointment with the dietician. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the most hateful of the gals I'd dealt with there had been terminated and would no longer be an issue for me. The appointment was set for the 13th. However, in 3 days time my numbers began to sky rocket leaving me worried about the growth and health of my baby. The growth scan I had done on Tuesday afternoon did confirm that though the baby's overall weight is good, the majority of it is in the abdomen, which is directly related to my elevated blood sugars. I rescheduled and was able to get into my insulin appointment on Thursday afternoon. After much prayer on my part and that of my friends God granted me the peace that passes understanding along with a very clear understanding of some of the insecurities I was having.

The gal who did my appointment was AH-MAZING! I had never met her before, but am so glad she was "the one" to get this set up. She was non-accusing, compassionate, understanding, and so so gracious. She explained that my food consumption and eating habits were fine. It wasn't my fault that my sugars were rising, my body just isn't working properly. She put to rest all the guilty and things I'd been carrying around for 20+ weeks of pregnancy. And I found out towards the end that she's also a christian. No surprise there!

Thursday evening I went to Walgreens to grab my script and cried the all the while checking out. This is going to cost about $100 a month. That is money we just don't have for meds. I have no choice in this. All I can do is pray for God to use this to build me up, to use this/me as an example for others (maybe) and to guide me through this. It's a trust thing. So....I'm trusting that our finances will be okay though our monthly obligation just jumped $80.

Yesterday was my first full day of injections. Easy peasy. I felt more stable, wheather it was psychological or not...makes no difference to me. I just need to get this under control so we can slow down and partially reverse the effects on the baby's weight.


7 Comments
dazedpink
I had GD when pregnant with Lilly, had to inject twice a day for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy. I had an awesome dietician as well, and the first thing she said to me was it wasn't my fault, it wasn't what I had been eating, it was just the way my pancreas was reacting to the pregnancy. This was 8 years ago and I still remember how comfortable she made me feel and how less scary the whole episode was. My endocrinologist on the other hand? Total jerk. Thankfully I only had to check in with him by phone once a week (and he adjusted my insulin based on my numbers, I was doing combo shots) but the two office visits were enough to convince me that I would change doctors if I got GD with my 2nd pregnancy!

Sounds like your head and heart are in the right place...were you insulin dependent with Noah? I can't remember....if not, I wonder if you're having a girl???
Jules   Saturday, March 9, 2013
girlcarew
" It wasn't my fault that my sugars were rising, my body just isn't working properly." I am so so glad that she instilled that in you. I had GD both times, but luckily didn't have to do insulin. But the guilt that you have can be terrible. The feeling that you've done something wrong. But it is not your fault! I am also glad you had a good experience.
girlcarew   Saturday, March 9, 2013
RAGrise
Girl, thank you!

Jules, I was not on insulin with Noah. My numbers weren't this high with him. Though I know now insulin, or better qualified doctors, would have eliminated him being born hypoglycemic. We don't know this baby's gender, but everyone says girl. Heart rate is consistently in 150 range unlike Noah. :)
We will see!!
Richie & Ashley   Saturday, March 9, 2013
igna83
I had GD with both children, as well, but for me, I simply did not want to inject a drug into my body. So, I went on a strict diabetic diet to maintain my blood sugar. It worked! And still to this day, I am the only patient in my OB/GYN's office that has controlled GD without insulin. TWICE! And I'm pretty amazed that I did it myself because I can't seem to do it NOW!!! GRR!
Angi   Wednesday, March 13, 2013
RAGrise
I am on a very strict diet. I add exercise and eat very few carbs yet my body fails me. Good for you for being able to do it without drugs. It just doesnt' work that way for everyone.
Richie & Ashley   Wednesday, March 13, 2013
spike
I had GD with Alice. It was a shocker and it took some adjustment mentally. My GD was diet controlled and Alice was just fine. Her numbers were normal at birth and she wasn't 'too big'. Stay positive!
Spike   Thursday, March 14, 2013
dazedpink
Didn't work for me either, Ashley. I walked a mile every day and totally restricted my diet, eating exactly what the nutritionist told me to eat (and when to eat it). The bright spot at the end (other than my gorgeous, healthy girl!) was that when I was dx'd, I had gained 36 lbs...and when I delivered, I had only gained 28.
Jules   Thursday, March 14, 2013
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