Good News & Bad News
I've been taking insulin for a little more than a month now. At first it was great, and my sugars were well managed. Unfortunately that was short lived. I've struggled with getting timely adjustments made to my insulin. Even with some dosage adjustments my numbers (recently) were dangerously high for more than 2 weeks.Last Tuesday I had my 32 week growth ultrasound. There are many crutial things that the doctor takes into consideration when determining the efficacy of my diabetes maintenance. My weight is THE indicator if I'm following my diet; the growth ultrasound details baby weight gain and size, which is directly affected by my diabetes, and my glucose/food logs are used in conjunction with my A1-C tests. My last A1-C (at 28 weeks) was 5.5, which is fantastic. My current weight is down by 2 pounds, which means I'm following my diet beautifully. My logs indicate my food consumption and choices are good, but my daily glucose numbers are just too high. The kicker was the growth ultrasound. My baby went from being in the 50% in weight to 82% in weight at 32 weeks. This baby is "huge", according to Dr. Fara.
I spoke with him briefly this morning. He told me that "This is where the rubber meets the road". Crunch time is upon us and after having been told of my poorly managed blood sugars he told me "There is no way you can go until 40 weeks. There is a good chance we'll need to induce as early as 38.5 weeks but certainly by 39."
I was honest with him about my frustration in how my blood sugars are on the rise. He asked me why. I told him "I'm just too type A to deal with this inability to control them. My diet is good; my God I've lost another whole pound!" He reached over, put his hand on my knee and said, "You can't control this. You're doing all you can. Yes you've lost another pound, that is good. But this is out of your control." My body is not using the insulin I'm putting into it. This is a problem on a cellular level; it is not about what I'm eating, not eating or how active I am (or am not).
Now, I wait on God. I'm so in the dark. I'm totally vulnerable and unable to control any part of this on any level. I know that there is a purpose in all of this, though I have no earthly idea what it could be. We will be meeting our Bingo Baby much sooner than we thought. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Becauce of Richie's job and some medical perks I get my imaging done for free, but it's at a lab where they do all sorts of imaging. They don't specialize in OB let alone high risk OB. I think the next one we have done we will just bite the bullet and pay for it so it can be done in the OB office with techs who are specialized.
I have prayed and prayed that the tech was wrong, that the measurements were off, that the radiologist made some sort of mistake....Something, anything to make the results incorrect.
My cousin just delivered a perfect, healthy little 33 week old after 3.5 months of complete bed rest. He's home and growing like a weed. You strong, sacrificing Mama's inspire me.
Dr. Fara had no substantial news for me. I did explain my concerns about induction and c-section. He explained that the baby's head is measuring 3 weeks ahead. Yikes! He said that will very likely determine a vaginal birth compared to a c-section. He detailed the things he needs Dr. Pedron's opinion on. That made me feel better...at least I know what he wants to know and where his mind is in all of this.
As of today I've lost 4 pounds in the last month. I no longer have anything to prove as far as my ability to eat right and maintain my end of the bargin as far as my diabetes is concerned. My glucose issues are quite literally out of my hands, out of my control. He confirmed there is nothing left for me to do except to maintain my current habits. He is also confident that Dr. Pedron will not schedule any induction date until AFTER my 36 week growth ultrasound. He seemed to think that perhaps there may be some other options for better controlling my diabetes, which is something else he wants to discuss in detail with Dr. Pedron.
So we wait.
He did say that there is a chance baby could come early because of size. But that could lead to c section if baby is too big. And all I can picture in my mind is that photo Kelsey Moore posted here after having her little girl when her sweet boy mashed on her tummy. Ouch!!!!!