Good News & Bad NewsI've been taking insulin for a little more than a month now. At first it was great, and my sugars were well managed. Unfortunately that was short lived. I've struggled with getting timely adjustments made to my insulin. Even with some dosage adjustments my numbers (recently) were dangerously high for more than 2 weeks.
Last Tuesday I had my 32 week growth ultrasound. There are many crutial things that the doctor takes into consideration when determining the efficacy of my diabetes maintenance. My weight is THE indicator if I'm following my diet; the growth ultrasound details baby weight gain and size, which is directly affected by my diabetes, and my glucose/food logs are used in conjunction with my A1-C tests. My last A1-C (at 28 weeks) was 5.5, which is fantastic. My current weight is down by 2 pounds, which means I'm following my diet beautifully. My logs indicate my food consumption and choices are good, but my daily glucose numbers are just too high. The kicker was the growth ultrasound. My baby went from being in the 50% in weight to 82% in weight at 32 weeks. This baby is "huge", according to Dr. Fara.
I spoke with him briefly this morning. He told me that "This is where the rubber meets the road". Crunch time is upon us and after having been told of my poorly managed blood sugars he told me "There is no way you can go until 40 weeks. There is a good chance we'll need to induce as early as 38.5 weeks but certainly by 39."
I was honest with him about my frustration in how my blood sugars are on the rise. He asked me why. I told him "I'm just too type A to deal with this inability to control them. My diet is good; my God I've lost another whole pound!" He reached over, put his hand on my knee and said, "You can't control this. You're doing all you can. Yes you've lost another pound, that is good. But this is out of your control." My body is not using the insulin I'm putting into it. This is a problem on a cellular level; it is not about what I'm eating, not eating or how active I am (or am not).
Now, I wait on God. I'm so in the dark. I'm totally vulnerable and unable to control any part of this on any level. I know that there is a purpose in all of this, though I have no earthly idea what it could be. We will be meeting our Bingo Baby much sooner than we thought. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."