Monday, June 15th, 2009

Caribbean Princess: Day 5

Land ahoy! Never was a more beautiful sight seen than the remote island we stumbled upon today. The indigenous population calls their land Puerto Rico, which roughly translates to Why Do We Have a Primary When We Can't Vote in the Actual Presidential Election. I talked to some of the natives and told them all about my great homeland, the United States of America. They didn't really say much and only gave me puzzled looks, no doubt skeptical about the existence of such a place.

There wasn't much time to talk with the locals because we had to make use of our time on land to forage for insects and berries. Here's a picture of my Dad hunting for our next meal.



Don't let his smile fool you. He's actually dying a thousand deaths inside.

Alas, there were no life-sustaining provisions to be found anywhere on the island, though we did see some signs of wildlife.



So we're back at sea, desperately searching for the next volcanic mass rising out of the water that may finally bring us salvation. Thank you all for your continued prayers. Maybe God can hear them where you are, but out here, in this wicked ocean, I think God has forsaken us. I saw the crew playing dice for our souls. The devil must have triumphed because Mama Mia is playing on the big screen. I think it's time to make use of the cyanide capsule I stowed on board in case of such an event. The ninth circle of hell can't have anything as bad as what we're going through now.