Caribbean Princess Lifeboat: Day 1We've jumped ship. Our boat capsized this evening.
I don't know how the crew didn't see it coming. What else could you expect when you play Barry Manilow show tunes in the theater after feeding time? The collective weight of the bloated bodies and the walkers, all amassed in the aft of the ship, overwhelmed the laws of buoyancy.
We scrambled to the mustard station and followed the vaguely erotic directions for releasing the lifeboats.
I'm saddened to report that most people didn't make it out in time. Some refused to leave before the midnight buffet was served. Others couldn't make their way to the disembarkation station because their muscles had atrophied due to lack of use during the last week.
My Dad and I made it off the boat before it flipped over, and now we're paddling around somewhere in the Atlantic.
You're probably wondering how I'm getting an internet connection from the life raft.
Well, so long humzoo. I doubt I'll make it through the night. My Dad is starting to become delusional, and from the way he's looking at me I can tell that he thinks I'm the dessert bar. It's going to be the aquatic version of the Donner Party up in here soon. When a movie gets made about this event, I would like that chick from the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter commercials to play me.