A Week of Pain, but a Ray of Hope
I didn't know what exhausted truly meant until this week. Seven days without sleep, coupled with wakes hundreds of miles apart and the emotional agony of saying goodbye to Betsy has finally caught up to me. I feel like I've been beaten to within an inch of my life.The funny thing is this week wasn't all bad. Yes, I experienced the worst emotional pain in my young life--if there's something worse, then God, please kill me now. But I also experienced the best of humanity...and a semblance of hope.
The huge outpouring of support during the wakes was overwhelming. Tuesday night, I stood in a receiving line for three hours because friends and family just kept showing up (note: when I die, there will be no receiving lines--those things suck).To meet some of the key players in Betsy's life was so powerful. I loved hearing the stories about her childhood and adventures before our time together. It gave me a perspective that makes me love her even more.
The road ahead is long and dark as the days still don't feel like days and the tears come flowing without a moment's notice, but witnessing the genuine kindness of humanity this week gives me a sense of hope.
Though the light at the end of this dark, scary tunnel is too far off in the distance to see, I know it's there. And I'm blessed to have so many wonderful people assist me in my journey.
*I can see why Betsy was so fond of Humzoo. You all are good people :)
I love Kahlil Gibran and especially enjoy "The Prophet". This is a excerpt that is on Joy & Sorrow.
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"When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow,"
and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy"
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On a side note, I've always thought that receiving lines were so exhausting for family. I understand the sentiment but it can seem almost cruel. I hope you are taking time to rest.
I told him it wasn't awkward and thanked him for remembering Betsy.
Praying for you that healing process can begin and also praying that the animals are doing well.