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Sunday, June 20th, 2010

Please Read.

Ok, so some people know about my boyfriend. We had been dating since April 6, 2009 and we've been through a lot. But, I wanted to get this story out, not for sympathy or acknowledgment, but to share what I've been through.

April 6- I asked a good friend to ask William Roberg if he liked me. He said yes, came up and told me, and asked me out.
April-August- We had a good easy going months before things got a little complicated in August. We had a huge fight during the State Fair time, and we broke up. Just a couple hours later, that "good friend" that asked him for me in April asked if she could go out with him. She was his ex...went out for not even a week. He later jumped to another girl, only for a week before he came back. I made him earn my trust again and we got back together. (Note: my parents knew we broke up, but never knew we got back together.)
September-November- Easy going times again, but then in November, we were found out about things we shouldn't have done earlier in our relationship, and he was sent off to Lincoln Prairie for about two weeks. He came back, we were confused on how our relationship stood, and he went to another girl named Kenzie.
December-March 18-We got back together (sorry!) and things were going smoothly til March 18. He was sent to Eagle Summit in Missouri for two months, and I was not told anything about where or why he left or when he would come back.
March18-May 28-He was gone for that long, and I was a mess the first two weeks. I wrote him a day-by-day for him to give when he got back. He called three times to talk and got on Facebook to inform me what was happening.
May 28-Present- We were doing good when he got back. Stayed that way until today.

Here's the thing: Willie is borderline bipolar, skitsofrentic (sp?), has had a terrible childhood, and is unpredictable. He's constantly changing his mind and is what my dad calls a manipulator, liar, and so on. (His father committed suicide when he was only 3, and his mom left him in the car at a casino in Vegas. He moved over to Illinois to live with his aunt and uncle who took fairly good care of him, no matter what he says.) And I'm starting to realize he was. He was making me turn from my family who knew what was best. After the October ordeal, we were never allowed to see each other, interact with each other, anything. Yet we still "dated" behind everyone's backs. My friends could see we were a good couple, but we were all blinded. My parents had good reason to deny him. But I kept lying to see him, met up with my friends and him instead of just friends, and abused my parents' love and trust.

I realize that yes, as a teenager, I did love him. But he changed over time, and became a totally different person. He loved me, still does and I him, but I learned. I learned that we were too serious, I could have been easily physically abused as emotionally abused (which I slightly was), and that he's just a person I leaned on to support myself since I couldn't do that myself. I may miss him and my heart may be broken, but he did teach me to rely on myself, and I'm happy that I could at least share a part of my life with him. It's a lesson learned and an important experience learned. I still want to be his friend, and my parents sympathize for him. I love him and won't get over this for awhile, but it's better to go our seperate ways, still be friends hopefully, but move on. I have one more year of high school left then I'm done. I would like to share my future with him, but only God will decide that.

Quite a blog. Sounds like a tough lesson but it sounds like you came out on the high side and see the benefits from the experience even at the toll of your emotional abuse. Thanks for sharing that with us.
LGrant   Sunday, June 20, 2010
I felt like I needed to share that, it feels like I've been bottling it up for so long and I just needed to let it out. Thanks for understanding LGrant. :)
brenna   Sunday, June 20, 2010
I know you thought you loved him, Brenna, but - I know you're going to hate me for saying this!! - you're so, so young and what you should be working on now is YOU and not you and a serious relationship. You've got your whole life ahead of you; there's plenty of time for a serious relationship LATER and I'm sure you'll have more than one of them and I'm sure you'll get your heart broken more than once because it seems that happens to us all.

But for now you should be working on yourself, mapping out your future plans, doing well at your job, becoming as stable a person as you can be and working on your self-confidence, anticipating your senior year and committing to making it the best year ever! Go out with your girlfriends and laugh and giggle and talk about boys and have a great time. Don't be bogged down with all this heavy relationship stuff when you're so young. Go have fun and grow up a little and mature a little and gain confidence and someday the time will be right for a serious relationship and all the joy and heartbreak that that can bring. And I promise Mr. Right will come along one day and sweep you off your feet because you're a beautiful young woman.

And I must say I see many red flags with this relationship. I think your parents are very right in wanting to protect you from this person. My advice would be to break off all ties and stay busy and go have fun with Pearl and all your girlfriends! And don't forget about us on Humzoo!
!   Sunday, June 20, 2010
I'm going to agree w/Mom Heinzel on this one - just one reason I made the decision to never date high school boys when I was in high school. Too much drama, also. Concentrate on yourself and your friends and your family. It'll be worth it in the long run!
Angi   Sunday, June 20, 2010
Hi Brenna,
I had a pretty heavy relationship for my Junior and half of my Senior year of HS. When we finally split up during my Senior year, it was hard. I understand that you care about him a lot and won't devalue those feelings you are having. I honestly thought about that boy for years after that. You probably will think about William for a long time too. The second half of my Senior year...I had a blast. You will too. I think you made a good decision in letting all of this heavy stuff go. I know you want to help him but right now you need to help yourself and start your life. The more time that passes, the better you will feel. If he is codependent on you, then splitting up is good for him too. It's really easy to go back because it is a comfortable place but don't. Stay strong and have fun with your friends. Make the best of your Senior year. :)
Spike   Monday, June 21, 2010
Thanks you guys. It'll be hard for a little bit, but I know I'll make it through the pain. I've already been working on myself, and explaining to him what I thought about our relationship. Both of us took a hard hit, but everybody's right: way too young to be doing this.
brenna   Monday, June 21, 2010
Wow! Good for you that you can say that!! You'll be all right. Have fun now as a single girl while you can and get it all out of your system and then settle down later. You have so much living to do!! And I think the stronger and more confident you become, the better choice of a boyfriend you will make. And yes, a broken heart is very painful but it's not the end of the world....it's only the beginning!!
!   Monday, June 21, 2010
Thanks. :) It's taken me awhile to realize that maybe our relationship wasn't the best, but I'm a teenager what can I say? I'm just happy that I'm single, and I'm proud of myself that I actually stepped up and did something good for us both.
brenna   Monday, June 21, 2010
A very wise young woman and your last 6 words of your blog show that your priorities are in the right place. The pain and difficultly that you have experienced through this is a blessing that you will some day look back upon and thank God for bringing you through it.
Good News   Monday, June 21, 2010
All I can to is smile as a small tear of happiness runs down my cheek. There is so much more I'd like to say, but in some way I think I've already said it.
PearlMei   Thursday, July 8, 2010
Here's an update: I made a tough decision of not talking to him anymore, meaning giving up everything, and all that wonderful stuff. But I'm doing ok and I'm not heartbroken, I'm handling quite well.
brenna   Friday, July 16, 2010
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