Teacher Voice on Humzoo

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Tuesday, March 18th, 2008
Teacher Voice

I've still got it, apparently. I had to pull that scary teacher voice out today to use on some random child.

Our Early Learning Center has a program called Parents As Teachers (PAT). There is a free drop-in play group at the school that you can go to once a week (although many people break the rules and go more often). Since I stay home with the kids, I take them to this play time for socialization. But I'm really starting to question what they're really getting out of it besides germs and exposure to extremely bad behavior and even worse parenting.

There is one woman I have seen several times. She happens to be pregnant at the moment, and I have trouble discerning whether or not she already has two or three young children that she brings in to the play group. I suppose it doesn't matter because as far as she is concerned, she has no children while she is there. She hardly ever looks at her kids the entire time! No interaction, no direction, no discipline...nothing. She is only concerned with her own socialization. And if I could smack her, I totally would.

Her oldest child, Foster, was bullying Ethan with the other child who is either his brother or close friend. It isn't unusual for kids older than Ethan to try to play more advanced stuff with him because they can't tell he's 2 and not 4 (he's just so tall).

I usually hover around Mia and keep my eye on Ethan while I'm there because he moves less frequently. It's so much easier that way. I spent several minutes watching Foster and Atticus (other kid) blocking Ethan's path repeatedly. They would not let the kid through. I waited it out. I didn't want to step in. I want Ethan to work out his own issues. Plus, he didn't look particularly disturbed.

But it quickly got out of control. They wouldn't let Ethan play with ANYTHING. And if Ethan managed to get around them and get his hands on a toy, Foster would rip it out of his hands. Oh no you didn't, little boy! That pissed me off. And in these several minutes, Foster's mommy did...nothing. Well, she talked to another mommy (maybe the other offender's mom?).

So, I had to step in. I usually try to do it in a way that I think I'm showing Ethan how to stand up for himself. But I totally let loose on this kid. I pulled out the scary teacher voice. I removed the toy he just stole out of his hand. I told him he was being a bully and needed to back up. Ethan decided it was safe to chime in here..."Back up!" lol I did a lot more explaining to the obnoxious child before I noticed his mom give me the evil eye. Then I decided to redirect my kids to another area.

I hate getting loud with kids that aren't mine, but I was purposely loud when dealing with him because I thought his mom would pay attention and discipline. But no. She pretty much just looked at me like I was being a bitch.

I realize that the person who was really out of line in the situation is Foster's mom. She made no attempts to straighten out his behavior or redirect him. Next week, I'll pull out the teacher voice on her. Some people just need their ass kicked. For real.

Tags: Courtney, Ethan, Mia

22 Comments

1) Courtney, you CAN smack her. DO IT.

I am proud of you for telling that kid to step off. It's high time people learned to discipline their kids.

I just wish Ethan would've said, "Don't tase me, bro!"

Betsy Tuesday, March 18, 2008

2) You go, Momma!! I had to do this with a youngster I will refer to as, well, his name is Chase. He's not a very nice boy at the Children's Discovery Museum, so I'll just let him have it. Galvin usually does it first, and I back him up--the mother and grandmother do nothing either. Perhaps they're related to Foster's mom...

Angi Tuesday, March 18, 2008

3) On an international note, my brother said that in Japan, parents are EXPECTED to discipline other people's children. It's like an unspoken community pact or something. Everyone takes responsibility for raising the community's children.

It's also totally allowed to smack someone's kid if they're being a punk.

Betsy Tuesday, March 18, 2008

4) Nice job Courtney! I see way to many ignorant parents these days. Mostly at Chucky Cheese and Gooney Golf on the weekends but it shouldn't matter right? Parents need to be more responsible and aware of their children and their actions. Not to mention teaching them how to be kind to other children. We aren't quite to the point yet with Dylan where other kids are getting rough or misbehaving but it will be here before we know it. And when we get there, we'll fly you down to regulate.

Denny Deaton Tuesday, March 18, 2008

5) I see it all too often when parents do not take responsibility for their children. It has always bothered me before, while I was shopping or out in public, but it is even worse now where I work. You are well within your rights to break it out on the mom next time!

K8Day Tuesday, March 18, 2008

6) Well done!

Biker Ben Tuesday, March 18, 2008

7) I like to use the teacher voice on a daily bases. Sometimes I only have to give the teacher look and that works!!! I just don't have parents that give me the evil eye back.

grantdeaton Tuesday, March 18, 2008

8) Way to go Courtney! Can you please bottle and sell that WhoopAss? I can't stand when parents don't take responsibility for their children. We have heard that a little boy in Dylan's class has been stealing her snack lately. Someone caught him in the corner trying to eat her graham crackers.

niki Tuesday, March 18, 2008

9) You're right, Courtney, the person out of line was Foster's mom. It's not fair to HER children either, that she doesn't discipline them. Too bad so many parents don't understand their job.

pegi Tuesday, March 18, 2008

10) Good job Courtney. I recently had to do that at Barnes and Noble at the little wodden train table in the kids section. I, too, want Ava to work out her own issues and figure out how to socialize. There were two kids continuing to push past her without saying "excuse me". They were at least 5 or 6. No offense, but if Ava knows how to say it appropriately, they should to... or at least with their parent's encouragement (who happened to be sitting right there).
Eventally, I became so irritated that I said very loudly, "Ava, if they don't say 'excuse me', you don't need to move for them; just stay put. If you want ot get past them, then you need to say 'excuse me". None of the parents did anything so after the kids continued to push her so they could get their trains through, I finally said sturnly, "if you want to get past her, you need to say 'excuse me'." Guess what, Parent #1 got up and blurted, "Joey, it's time for us to go now. " Buh-bye B*tch!

Carrie Tuesday, March 18, 2008

11) you go girl *snap snap*

Jimthelimey Tuesday, March 18, 2008

12) my blood pressure just went up a few points from reading your post Courtney. Stuff like that makes me so angry. I see it all the time up here--in some ways I am relieved to find out it's not just a north shore phenomenon (scary how children so young already have a huge sense of entitlement). Good job momma. At our next gathering maybe you can give the rest of us lessons on the teacher voice.

Jules Tuesday, March 18, 2008

13) Jules, that's so true. Sometimes it seems like kids learn to be entitled from their parents before they even learn to talk!

Betsy Tuesday, March 18, 2008

14) Sad to say, but I know those kids from the school. And yes, they are brats.

That is one of the reasons why Riley & I have been avoiding going there. That & the germs, weather, etc. It just doesn't seem like he is getting that much out of it in the end.

By the way, we are thinking of having the Easter Egg Hunt on Thursday at around 5:30 or 6 if you guys are interested. Just let me know either way. Thanks! :)

Rileys_Mommy Tuesday, March 18, 2008

15) I'm with Jules. I had to go my nitro after reading this. Lazy parents are what's wrong with the world today, not obnoxious children. They get it from somewhere, right? I'm very proud to know you, Courtney and I'm glad you didn't put up with that B.S. A lot of parents are afraid to "discipline" other people's kids. I had to put the smack down on someone's kid at a party last Friday. Slightly different situation. My band was playing a couple of songs at a friends party. I pulled my bass guitar out of the case and put it on the stand and before I even had it out of my hand, some little dipsh*t kid comes over and puts his grubby little hands all over it. He wasn't really old, but definitely old enough to know better. (Or should have been.) I just looked right at him with my "Mommy look" and said "No!" and it worked like a charm. I could have gone for tears but decided not to.

soundchick Tuesday, March 18, 2008

16) Exactly soundchick... they definitely get it from somewhere and it's the lack of parenting. I don't really think it's a "class" issue because I see it all over. Oh how I'd love to smack the parents I see at Target or the grocery store when they yell at their kids to "shut the F up" or "shut your Fing mouth". How can we blame the kids when that's their environment?

Carrie Tuesday, March 18, 2008

17) If a parent is not going to parent their child then you have every right to. Good for you!

girlcarew Tuesday, March 18, 2008

18) I love a good teacher's voice!

fritz Tuesday, March 18, 2008

19) I have an honest question. I have a 4 year old boy. I took him to the park last year and some bigger kid pushed him down on one of the walkways on the swing set. He started crying and I ended up taking him home. But it got me thinking, "what is the best way to stop a bully?" I have a boxing background and was pondering if telling my kid to punch the bully the next time he tried something would solve the problem. Typically these bullies are all talk and usually dont have other kids fight back at them. As, my son is approaching kindergarden, I still have not yet decided on how to handle these situations. Any advice would be appreciated.

RickMonday Wednesday, March 19, 2008

20) My mom always used to tell me to tell the bully (loudly) that I didn't like what he was doing, and then walk away and go tell an adult.

I think it worked back then, but now... who knows what adult the poor kid would run into.

Betsy Wednesday, March 19, 2008

21) Courtney, I posted some photos from our awesome trip to the amazing Abe Museum. You should check it out :)

Betsy Wednesday, March 19, 2008

22) Betsy's right. That is an appropriate response for a young child. It will change as they get older, though. Unfortunately, the best way of dealing with a bully is preventing being bullied in the first place (aside from parents raising kids to not turn into bullies). Not always easy. You have to teach your kids to carry themselves with confidence.

Courtney Heinzel Wednesday, March 19, 2008