Friday, May 8th, 2009
Anxiety
In 11 days (or less), I'll be heading to the hospital for a planned c-section. Each morning as soon as I wake up the countdown hits me...a month to go, 2 weeks...tomorrow will be 10 days...and the anxiety starts. Somehow I'm able to get to sleep at night, maybe from all of the energy I've burned during the day from the panic, maybe because I have to take a benadryl to help with my allergies/breathing problems. Overnight I get a reprieve, but the daytime hours have been brutal. I feel like all I'm thinking of is the surgery, and not even in specifics, just the fact that I'll be cut open. I'm trying so hard to focus on the positive (meeting our child, calling Lilly to let her know if she has a brother or sister, completing our family) but I can't. I haven't had too many moments of excitement, it's mostly dread.

I hate that I feel this way! I don't know what to do other than write about it; to try to get it out of my system. I'm buzzing right now, anxiety still. I've been awake since 7:30 AM and all day I've been buzzing like this.

Part of me wants the baby to come before the scheduled date because then at least I won't be up all night worrying about the c/s the night before...a lot of the time I just want to sit down and cry.

This is when I really miss my mom. She never had a c/s, but just to be able to hear her calm, reassuring voice right now would do wonders for my psyche.

I know Lilly is feeling it too...probably feeding off of me, which I hate (and which makes me feel more anxious and very guilty). Her whole world is going to be turned upside down in less than 2 weeks in ways that none of us can even imagine. I'm so grateful that my sister will be coming in to help, and that Lilly loves her so much. But it still breaks my heart to think about how much things are going to change for her, how I feel like I'm blindsiding her with this child...and how I wanted these last few weeks with her to be full of memory making bonding moments, but I'm too panicked and too sick to do it. I feel crappy all day long, my temper is short, nevermind how whiny and clingy she's been (she cried tonight because I told her I had an appointment to go to in the morning, that I'd be gone for about an hour...what the hell is she going to do when I'm in the hospital for 4 days???)

Sorry this is so jumbled...I'm just writing what's floating around in my brain right now. I wish it helped more, usually when I write it does help. This time, not so much.

I just hope I'm brave on the birth day. Right now I'm feeling pretty cowardly.
Tags:  baby, me
13 Comments
igna83
1) Everything you're feeling is everything that I, and probably every other mother of more than one child here on HumzOo, have felt already. And is it going to blindside Lilly? Absolutely. Will she change from this event? Oh yes! Will you feel regret? Maybe...I know I did, at times. But it subsides over time. Not long after the baby arrives, you and Lilly and little brother/sister (and daddy, of course) will work out a new rhythm of life, but don't expect it to happen overnight. Or in a few weeks. Maybe in a couple months or so afterward. It'll sneak up on you, and you'll wonder how your life was ever full with only you, Charlie and Lilly.

Congratulations and best wishes, Jules!!

PS. Don't fret over that c-section - I've had two, and they're a non-issue. I actually recovered quicker with the second...Galvin needed his Momma! :O)
Angi   Friday, May 8, 2009
Leslie
2) Your hormones are probably all over the place right now. Deep breathe and tell yourself that everything is going to be fine. You know in your heart that it is. Stay as busy as possible. Cherish the next ten days with Lily before life gets more hectic. Kids are incredibly resilient, they all adjust to a new sibling in their own way and in their own timeframe. Hang in there!!!!
Leslie   Friday, May 8, 2009
RAGrise
3) I'm not a momma, but I can repeat things to you that my best of friends have told me. Firstly, I've been told, by many friends, that c-sections are less painful and require less healing/recovery time. Secondly, I think you're underestimating your Lilly; she is a bright and vibrant little one who will surely mold to the new life. Not over night, but I doubt it will take too long. I bet she will surprise you!! I'm wtih Leslie, hormones galore!! They will continue for a few months, she's right---just breathe!
The best, most healthy thing you can do for your family (and mostly yourself) is to remain calm and think positive thoughts . . . think of how wonderful it will be to see Lilly hold the new baby, and how great it will be to see the first smile. . . those are things that will last a lifetime. The c-section will only last 10 mins. :-) You are much stronger than you think.

When you need to vent and escape we are here. I'm gonna say a little prayer for you!
Richie & Ashley   Saturday, May 9, 2009
reera
4) I wish I had some advice on the section but I never had one. You are building a family and children adjust much better than adults. Now, you have heard all that before....Think about how much your sister means to you, especially right now.Everything you are feeling right now is about as normal as it can be. I hope and pray that you have a happy healthy baby just like your lovely Lilly. Pamper yourself, get some rest. This time next year you will be about to run after another toddler!
dannie   Saturday, May 9, 2009
RAGrise
5) Dannie, I just love you!
Richie & Ashley   Saturday, May 9, 2009
justmeg
6) Infinity and beyond momma! you know you can call me - never did the section but the 1 to 2 or 2 to 3 is rough - it's not easy for the first couple of months - but as Angi said - you get into a whole routine and then look back and realize that you can't imagine or remember what life was like before
justmeg   Saturday, May 9, 2009
spike
7) You are giving Lilly a awesome gift...even if she doesn't get it right now. PreNatal massage appointment might be in order :)
Spike   Saturday, May 9, 2009
reera
8) Excellent idea!
dannie   Saturday, May 9, 2009
dazedpink
9) lol Spike...pre-natal massage scheduled for 10 AM CST today!!!

Thank you everyone...it does help to hear your encouraging words. I'm hoping I'm just getting the nerves out of the way now so I can be calm on d-day.
Jules   Saturday, May 9, 2009
spike
10) Sounds great! After writing that...I scheduled a prenatal massage for my friend Carmen who is expecting twin boys! We are going next Saturday. I have a screwed up shoulder I am hoping to get worked out.

Enjoy your massage!!!
Spike   Saturday, May 9, 2009
carriepassante
11) Spike was right on... you are giving Lilly a gift. I didn't really think of it that way until I saw Ava and Roman interact as siblings but now I can say it and mean it. It is something magical. I promise.
Carrie   Saturday, May 9, 2009
igna83
12) I'll have to ditto Spike and Carrie on this...not that Galvin and Gwendolyn are kissing and hugging one another every moment of every day, but when they do, it makes my heart skip a beat because I know that my sister is one of my best friends.
Angi   Saturday, May 9, 2009
mrsshoo
13) I'm sending positive thoughts your way!
While I've never had a child, I have a younger brother, and I know I behaved in much the same way as Lilly before he was born. After he was born, I was jealous sometimes and did resent him (according to my mother), but I have so many great memories of my childhood, playing with my brother and making up games and just laughing. I can only imagine how lonely I'd have been without him.
I can't say I always liked him, but I'm so incredibly glad my parents decided to have him.

As I said, I'm sending positive thoughts your way and to Lilly as well.
Sarah S.   Sunday, May 10, 2009
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