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Friday, September 18th, 2009

Boys Will Be Boys???

That was the excuse I was given after witnessing my beautiful daughter being knocked to the ground and punched in the stomach by 4 of her classmates at a birthday party--all boys.

We were at a park and the kids were chasing each other, playing on the equipment. The next thing I knew, Lilly ran up to me with 3 boys following her and I overheard one say "she's safe." I asked what was going on and one of the little hellions said "we're playing boys attack girls." Didn't sound all that innocent to me, so I kept a careful watch for awhile, but had to finish feeding Charlie. All of a sudden I heard her screaming and ran over to where she was--on the ground--and saw the boys punching her.

2 of the moms were standing there watching. Just standing there. I went off. I started yelling at them to stop and "you don't EVER hit a girl, what is wrong with all of you?" I think I caused a bit of a scene, but someone had to defend my sweet baby. I still can't believe none of the other moms did anything! What the f--k is wrong with them?

Lilly had had her face painted and her tears caused the makeup to smear and run. The face painter was cleaning up, but she too had witnessed what had happened and took her materials back out and offered to paint her face once again.

The mom of the boy who was having a party asked her who had hurt her, and when she named her son as one of them, she just blew it off and said "boys will be boys." Really? Because in my book, boys don't hit girls. I mean, they shouldn't hit period, but especially not girls. All I could see in my head was a bunch of future wife beaters.

It took all of my self control to not cry, to not tell her what I thought of her (lack of) parenting skills. And I wanted to scream at the other mom who just sat there watching the whole thing, looking at me as if I were psycho for protecting my daughter from her devil of a son. As soon as the make up lady was done I grabbed Lilly, said a terse thank you and we left.

I'm still on the verge of tears. To see my baby getting hurt like that was awful.

Tags:  Lilly
Doesn't sound right to me. I'm glad Lilly is ok. This day and age everything seems to be all right and excusable--no matter who or what gets hurt or damaged. How is Lilly dealing with it? Was she still upset when you got home? The face painter was a good person to do that for Lilly and make her feel better.
LGrant   Friday, September 18, 2009
She's physically ok...no bumps or bruises that I can see. Her feelings are hurt, though, and she's asked me a couple of times why they were being so mean to her. Breaks my heart on so many levels. So much for a good Catholic upbringing (she goes to Catholic preschool).
Jules   Friday, September 18, 2009
Oh - you had more control than me - I would have been much worse than you.
justmeg   Friday, September 18, 2009
I see Lilly in Karate class soon. It is a shame that the other Mothers were not more concerned. Sounds like the boys had a pack mentality.
Spike   Friday, September 18, 2009
I am with Meg. I don't care if it was girls punching girls or girls punching boys or boys punching boys. That is NOT okay behavior!!! If I was one of the moms standing there I would have pulled the punchers off the punchee. I don't care if one of the children was mine or not. And I'm not so sure I would have been able to refrain from commenting on the "ladies'" parenting skills or lack thereof.
runt   Friday, September 18, 2009
Those boys were lucky I had a baby in my arms.
Jules   Friday, September 18, 2009
I'm with Meg on this one--anyone does any "punching," it's gonna be Da Momma a/k/a ME! And I'll be the first one to reprimand children who misbehave, and I don't care who's around - parents included. If you can't control your child, I will.

Hugs for Lilly!
Angi   Friday, September 18, 2009
PS. I think this is the second comment recently that mentioned a Christian school with poor behavior...makes you wonder, huh?
Angi   Friday, September 18, 2009
Wow! I'm so sorry that happened. There is never any reason for any child to hit another. "Boys will be boys" is not an excuse or a reason. What is that woman thinking? It breaks my heart too.
Merritt   Saturday, September 19, 2009
That's some bulls@&t, Jules! It makes you want to go vigalante on these idiotic people who breed bullies. Then they have the nerve to wonder what all the fuss is about. My kids will know it's never ok to hit other people!
soundchick   Sunday, September 20, 2009
That is bad parenting (not you, the others) and you would have been well within your rights to give them an ear-bashing.
LimeyGeorge   Monday, September 21, 2009
I was on the verge of tears just reading this. This story is something you'd hear on the news. . . usually after the cops had been involved. It is a huge blessing that someone was there to stop it because one can only imagine how far it would have gone before they'd have let her go. I would have been all over those mothers like white on rice telling them exactly what type of little terrors they'd been raising. Hitting is wrong. Period. I was taught not to hit or fight, but was also told to defend myself if I needed to. Perhaps a martial art might make Lilly feel more empowered? Richie is a blackbelt and would be more than happy to suggest the right discipline for a little one like her.

"Boys will be boys" is what you say when brothers wrestle in the living room; it's what you say when they bring toads in the house. That is not what you say when they break lamps, hit their sister, or hit other kids.

Have you spoken with the school about what happened? Perhaps Lilly is not the only child being terrorized these little hate-mongers.
Richie & Ashley   Monday, September 21, 2009
I would be beside myself if I saw my little girl being punched by a bunch of boys. You have more restraint than I do, I would have gone off on the other parents.
When did this happen? If I were you I would call those parents now and discuss with them how inappropriate their child's behavior was and their inaction to the situation. Explain to them that your daughter could have been seriously hurt by their sons and that it is never ok for a boy to strike a girl EVER, at any age! And if they cannot understand that then their sons cannot be around your little girl.
I am sorry about the incident and I hope you and Lilly will be ok.
K8Day   Monday, September 21, 2009
Every time someone makes another comment to this blog and I re-read everything, it makes me proud to be the mother of a son who is taught that when someone--especially a GIRL--says "STOP" or "NO" it means JUST THAT. STOP!! NO!! Period.

Still so sorry that this happened to your beautiful Lilly...
Angi   Monday, September 21, 2009
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