Encouraging MyselfMy Dearest SELF,
You are doing a fine job, my dear. Even when you say "yes" to the question, "can i have a bideo?". Yes, a fine job. Even when he watches a video.
You allow him as much space as you can handle, and even more sometimes. Today when he wanted to "make you coffee", you allowed it. You watched as he pulled his stool to the kitchen sink, filled the teapot, moved his stool to the stove, poured water into a mug, climbed onto the counter, opened the microwave, and asked for help to put the mug inside. Then, when the door was closed and he asked what button he could push and you said, "the number one"...he actually found it!! and he was ELATED that he actually worked the microwave and that you told him the coffee smelled delicious. This is the space he needs. And yes, it requires more laundry and more mess to clean up, but what is laundry and mess? It's all part of the role. It's all part of it.
Tonight, after spending the past 13 hours with him, all you wanted him to do was to go to sleep. He wanted you to lay with him. He settled with you sitting on the side of the bed. He kept talking. You asked him time and time again to please lay quietly. Your frustration brewed. You were tired. You wanted to throw a book against the wall and scream. Instead, you breathed deep into your belly. You told him you loved him.
This...being a mom...THIS is your spiritual practice. This is what the Universe has put in front of you. You are HERE, which is exactly where you are supposed to be.
You thought to yourself today that there aren't words to describe the awesomeness of this place you are in. Specifically, being a mom. When you want to tell someone how great it is, you always find yourself at a loss for words. It is THAT great.
And maybe the kitchen isn't always clean before you close your eyes for the night, but the children are always loved and you can always find peace in your heart.
THIS is your spiritual practice, your life.
Pat yourself on the back, my love, because you are doing a fine job :)