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Friday, May 27th, 2011


It's past my bedtime, but I'm feeling compelled to write.

Ben and I sat across from each other at dinner tonight recounting little bits of memories that our dog gifted us over the years, both wiping tears and choking back cries whilst our son asked, "where is Indy?".

We'd given a short attempt that morning on explaining to Kep that Indy was going to the animal vet and wouldn't be coming back and that perhaps he might give him a hug and say goodbye. Kep eventually did this act, but his 2.5 year old self isn't quite mature enough yet to grasp the magnitude of what was happening.

Ben and I grasped it fully.

We lost an extraordinary part of our family this morning, and we miss him dearly. Indy was diagnosed with Lymphoma about a month ago and the doc said it was "aggressive". We treated him with steroids in hopes that his life would continue comfortably for another few months. A month was all it took to bring us to this morning where Indy had had a sleepless night of panting heavily, causing exhaustion and leading into a morning of giving into the massive tumors that surrounded his throat. They say you just "know". Well, we just knew. We knew whilst we watched him that today was it. He showed every sign of not fighting anymore. My heart breaks to think what he's been feeling up to this point, this morning.

I'd never considered before today what a blessing it is to be able to save our pets the suffering that so many humans experience before death. Though never an easy decision to make, a blessing to be able to make it.

For the sake of grieving, I'm going to publish some of the memories we shared tonight at dinner...

-my running buddy
-fastest dog EVER
-what our backyard looked like when bailey lived here and the two dogs would SPRINT circles around us whilst we played frisbee (they tore our yard up!)
-taking indy with us to alabama and him "swimming" in the lake (he literally kept trying to walk on the water)
-his first knee injury at Riley trails (followed by three knee surgeries before the age of 4)
-teaching him to catch a frisbee at the soccer fields
-such a cuddle dog
-slept with us in our double bed (until his breath and dog hair in my mouth became an issue for me)
-throwing up pine needles in the middle of the night (would obsessively eat them at Riley trails when he was a pup)
-vet said he looked like a dingo
-he FINALLY tore apart "the world" that Fritz gifted him about a week before his death (this ball lasted him years...UNHEARD OF!!)
-he'd run circles around Butch at my parents house
-Ben had to replace screen after screen at said parents house b/c Indy would "break in" through the window if left outside by himself
-also at said parents house, Indy tore off siding, insulation and nails trying to get in when we were gone at a wedding
-at our own house during fourth of july fireworks, Indy damaged four bedroom doors and left a doorjam hanging (we were at a friends house)
-he was the most quiet dog at the kennel when we picked him out...but then whined for like THREE DAYS STRAIGHT when we brought him home after adoption

there are more...and those are obvi just snippets...but i can assure you our memories of indy are plenty and full :) he brought so much joy to our lives, we are blessed to call him one of our best friends.

Indy, you will always be loved and forever missed. Thank you for being a gift in our lives for nine great years. xo, ben and rene'

So sorry for your loss. Sounds like you have great memories.
niki   Friday, May 27, 2011
Indy was lucky to have you as her humans. It's so hard to let them go, but also the most loving, unselfish thing you can do.
Jules   Friday, May 27, 2011
I feel the same as Jules. It's our turn to return all that unselfish love. Very nice blog.
LGrant   Friday, May 27, 2011
I'm so sorry. It's so hard to lose your best friend. The pain gets better but you miss them always. I'm so sorry.
!   Saturday, May 28, 2011
Sounds like Indy was very loved and you gave him the happiest life a dog could have. Very sorry for your loss.
SallyPants   Saturday, May 28, 2011
So sorry for your loss.
girlcarew   Saturday, May 28, 2011
I agree with you that it is such a blessing to be able to say your goodbyes and end the suffering in such a gentle way. We found that experience so healing for us when we lost our old family dog, even though it was hard to do. He just looked up at us, wagged his tail and gently drifted away.

Thinking of you.
pegi   Sunday, May 29, 2011
I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to your special friend. Its such a hard decision but a brave and unslfish one to let him go peacefully.
dannie   Monday, May 30, 2011
:( so sorry, rene. thinking of you.
kat   Thursday, June 2, 2011
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