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Saturday, May 9th, 2009

Out-rude

Yesterday seemed to be a day with fewer manners. People kept ignoring others and being uncourteous. It was notable because most days in Portland seem to be more mannerly than not. I like that about Portland because courtesy seemed to be lacking in St. Paul and Minneapolis. I don't think people are ruder in MN than they are in OR but I think the "cattle chute" mentality in MN tends to make people less courteous and considerate on the road and in the stores.

I grew up in the South where courtesy is driven into your head as a child. Be polite, thank people, say yes-sir and yes-ma'am to people. I got laughed at by a teenage boy and girl when I said "yes, ma'am" to the girl. They thought I was treating them as if they were old people but age doesn't matter in the South. I always laugh and said "he was raised in the South if he doesn't still live there!" when I hear a 90-year-old man say "yes, ma'am" on the news to a 30-something news reporter.

Back to yesterday. People were walking in front of you, not holding doors open for the next person, talking on cell phones and walking all over the sidewalk with little regard for the rest of us, smokers were smoking in the bus shelter (right in front of the "do not smoke" sign), etc.

We were delayed for a man on a scooter which is expected and lost a few available seats to accommodate him but that is expected too. He has as much right on the bus as we all do--just mentioning the delay. The bus was already late and the line was longer because of that. The next rider was a woman with a stroller. Strollers have to be broken down for safety and consideration for the other passengers. She had such a huge stroller--it didn't seem to break down well. I might have had more sympathy for her if she looked a little guilty about it but she seemed to think we all had to work around it and deal with it. We spent 5-10 minutes at the bus stop with her and the bus driver trying to deal with this stroller. And the bus got more crowded since she and the stroller took up more seating in the front. Again, not faulting moms here--just her attitude. The next bus stop the riders had to squeeze by her stroller to board the bus. She seemed oblivious to her endangering the riders and creating a problem and more delays for people getting on the bus. I think we all got a little cranky over the situation--maybe it was a long week and we just wanted to get home safely and close to on-time.

I ended up with someone having to sit beside me given the lack of seats. I accepted that until he pulled out the cell phone. The first call was short so I thought "he's not going to talk on it the whole way". WRONG. He made call after call the whole ride and was still talking on the cell phone when he got off the bus.

I had opened my window when we got on the bus--it was a little warm. Normally I would be considerate of the person beside me and close the window more for the the ride. Most people aren't as hot-natured as me so they don't appreciate the open window. It wasn't that warm--the bank said 59 so most windows were closed. After he kept talking on the phone and annoying me I decided I would leave the window open. Toward the end of the ride he had to put his scarf on--I think he was a little chilly. I felt a twinge of guilt but decided if he could be rude with his phone, I could be rude with my window.

It wasn't a proud moment for me--just a desire to fight back a little. My lack of tolerance is one of my greatest faults, for sure. Just felt I needed to out-rude someone before the day was out.

I will strive to be more considerate and courteous to make up for my rudeness yesterday. Hopefully I can get my good karma back today.


16 Comments
igna83
Karma: What comes around, goes around. Scarf man had it comin' - Happy Saturday!!
Angi   Saturday, May 9, 2009
Leslie
Rudeness is a lot like anger as it is contagious. Once the tone is set it is hard to stop the perpetual motion it creates. Example: If I snapped at my husband he would snap at the kids and the kids would snap at each other. It is a very predictable pattern. I think the same thing applies to rudeness. You're only human and sometimes we do things that a result of circumstances. Nobody's perfect!
Leslie   Saturday, May 9, 2009
RAGrise
If he was rude enough to talk on the phone then surely he wouldn't have held back if he were cold. LOL Rude doesn't stop, it just changes form. The person who cuts you off in the grocery with their cart will be the first to call you out if you do it to them. Does that make sense?

I agree with the general rude behavior lately. I can't answer why it is happening. Last night was a full moon though.
Richie & Ashley   Saturday, May 9, 2009
Dana
When I used to commute to work via bus each day in downtown DC I was always amazed at how each day could feel completely different. Some mornings folks were chatting, courteous, and friendly. Other days rudeness abounded and even a few days I felt serious hints of violence and anger (especially mid-summer, rush hour, way overcrowded bus, yikes.) As I grew more aware of all of these "community" moods I realized how much they affected my entire day from then on. Moods are definetly contagious, both good and bad. Here's to nice bus rides for next week!
Dana   Saturday, May 9, 2009
reera
If he had asked you to close the window I believe you would have accomodated him. I really wouldn't interpret this as rude behavior. (Can't say as to what you were actually thinking=LOL) You need to come home next winter for some southernization! Note-I didn't even bother to try and talk you into coming home now-its been in the 80's all week.
dannie   Saturday, May 9, 2009
lgrant
HAHA....I probably would have, Dannie. I think I'd feel tempted to say "you put away the cell phone and I'll close the window." LOL But, I probably would have obliged and closed the window a little...not all the way. I do have my limits!

Don't want any 80s! We were around 70 today--it was a very nice day. I think tomorrow is supposed to be the same. A nice Mom's Day for all the moms in Oregon.
LGrant   Saturday, May 9, 2009
mrsshoo
LG, we all have our moments where we allow others to dictate our behaviors (sometimes negatively). I completely know where you're coming from, and I know how it feels to realize that about yourself. I have a complete lack of tolerance for that type of behavior, but I find myself behaving in much the same manner when confronted with it. Ugh. You'll get your karma points back, I'm sure.
Sarah S.   Saturday, May 9, 2009
stevenheinzel
I can identify with the negative behavior and can say it has lead me to do exactly the same thing I get upset at with inconsiderate neighbors. We are allowed to burn leaves in our neighborhood, but unfortunately some people don't realize they have to be dry or they just smolder! I usually wait until mine are dry before I rake and burn. But I have waited until the wind is in the right direction and deliberately put wet leaves on the pile to "get even" with a neighbor for letting their pile smolder for a couple days. Am I proud of it - No! Will I do it again if the situation calls for it - Yes!
stheinz   Sunday, May 10, 2009
girlcarew
Maybe I'm rude, but why is it rude for someone (someone you don't even know) to talk on their cell phone when riding the bus?
girlcarew   Sunday, May 10, 2009
lgrant
They typically talk loudly to be heard over the bus noise so it is annoying to the other passengers. I've had people around me using the cell phone who weren't disruptive and spoke quietly but mostly they talk loud and can be annoying. I have ear buds in listening to a book and I can still hear the conversation--so it isn't quiet.
LGrant   Sunday, May 10, 2009
igna83
In my opinion, I think it's rude to have such a huge ego that one would feel it their right to infringe on another person's personal space, and this includes noise.

Oh and right at this moment, my neighbor is AGAIN sharing his CDs with everyone in the 'hood on this gorgeous Mother's Day Sunday. However, unlike you Steve, I won't retaliate in kind with my favorite tunes because I consider said neighbor to be "White Trash," and I'm far from that, personally. He also enjoys his leaf blower a lot! Not that I'm against them at all, but running it continuously for over 30 minutes, absolutely. I abhor noise pollution of any kind!
Angi   Sunday, May 10, 2009
lgrant
Especially on a Sunday, Angi. I am not one to fret over working on a Sunday but I do draw the line at loud activities since people like to enjoy a restful and peaceful Sunday. Especially on a holiday Sunday--it seems little to let neighbors have a nice peaceful day to enjoy family and being outside--not getting blasted by another's music or leaf blower.
LGrant   Sunday, May 10, 2009
igna83
I guess I hold folks to higher standards because I think it should be every day. But this particular neighbor would begin working on his friends' cars, as well as others' cars, at around 7pm at night and still be in his garage with his compressor-run tools 'til after midnight - and this was on weeknights, as well.

So, every time he disrupted my evening after 10pm, I called the police and finally, after coming out about half a dozen times, the city investigated and found him running an automotive shop from his residential property and shut him down!

Of course, they blame me, but I'm not the only one who called or said something, and I did NOT ask for the investigation. His wife mentioned something to me "in passing" about him losing his second job because the "uppity" neighbors didn't like them and were trying to run them out of the neighborhood. I looked at her in utter disbelief because I KNEW she knew I called--I'd told her before! And when I did, she told me that she'd shut him down, if she could, but he wouldn't listen to her. So I asked why she was so angry (because she'd said that previously), and she mentioned it was because other people in the neighborhood had businesses. I kinda' chuckled at that, knowing it was directed at me--I have an in-home daycare, obviously licensed via the DCFS in Illinois. Obviously, she and her family are to stupid to understand licensing standards in our state...HA!

Anyway, that's why they're noisy as much as possible. Lucky me!
Angi   Sunday, May 10, 2009
stevenheinzel
I had the same thing happen several years ago with a neighbor running his air compressor continually for several hours. He was running an auto repair facility out of his garage - like yours, it was zoned residential. He moved shortly after the cops shut him down.

Leaf blowers are a problem, I agree. I use one but since I'm retired I try to restrict its usage to weekdays when people are at work - and when Nancy is gone because she hates the noise!!
stheinz   Sunday, May 10, 2009
lgrant
Sitting here on Sunday afternoon, trying to enjoy the end of the day, I'm reminded of another favorite neighbor offering--the young guy who rides his dirt bike UP and DOWN the street over and over for an hour in the summer. Can't TELL HIM how much I enjoy listening to that annoying bike go up and down up and down over and over. It makes me want to run a wire across the street to snap him off that bike. My only saving grace is my room and the living room is on the backside of the house and my front yard is deep. I can't imagine how much more annoying it is to the houses closer to the street with their living room on the front. How considerate of him to disturb our afternoon and on a weekend as well. It almost makes rain a blessing to get back.
LGrant   Sunday, May 10, 2009
igna83
Perhaps some people who make comments should look up words in the dictionary to see what they mean before they write, then they would be aware that the slander (above) is incorrect in this instance.
Angi   Thursday, June 4, 2009
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