Wednesday, April 29th, 2009What would you do? This happened to me Monday afternoon. I am not sure what I could have done but I was wondering what you would do if you saw this.
I went to Wal-Mart to get some things. I parked my car next to a buggy stall, like I always do. Got a buggy and preceeded to go through the routine of getting my 8-month-old son out of the car. I noticed when I parked that a U-Haul parked across the asile with a older model Jeep Cherokee parked behind it. They were travelling together. As I was getting Jack out of the car I heard the lady who was driving the U-Haul yell to the lady driving the jeep "I almost couldn't find this FU##ING place!" I turned around to say something like "you might want to lower your volume because small children are around" or something to that effect when I stopped short because she had two small children with her. I was shocked. Then the lady yelled to a thrid child in the U-Haul to "Get your fat A## out of the car" My jaw hit the ground. THe second lady then told one of her two children that she didn't need the da#n blanket because it was hot as hell and to put that sh*t down. All of the children looked to be at least two and no older than six. There where 5 children total. None of them were acting up in any way. They were quiet, not running around or anything that would warrant such a tone in voice not to mention the language. I didn't even wait to put Jack in the buggy. I pushed the cart carrying him and the diaper bag to the store locking my car on the way. This made me truly sick to my stomach. I debated what to do about it the whole time I was in Wal-mart. If I had said something then the ladies would have probably said something nasty to me further subjecting the children to more verbal abuse. Should I have said something to someone in Wal-Mart? SHould I have called the police? Leave a note on the car? In the end I did nothing. As the day went on I felt terrible for these children. I also thought about my prefession as a teacher (before I had my son). How am I and every other teacher who see these children a few hours a day supposed to keep them on the same level as chidlren who come from homes the have loving stable parents? These children are more concerned with survival than homework and studying. They worry about food on the table, fighting at home, feeling safe enough to sleep at night, wearing the same clothes days in a row, and keeping the secret of their horrible home life. So I ask what would you do?
If I had overheard the women speaking to their children that way I don't think I would have said anything. Swearing (in most places anyway) isn't against the law, so I don't know that the police would do anything, nor would Walmart, unless it had escalated into physical abuse. And like you I would have been concerned that their verbal assaults would have continued, toward me...or even that they would have gotten so angry about being called out that they would take it out on the kids.
That's awful though. I will admit to losing my temper with Lilly and swearing, but not at her, and not screaming either. It sounds like this was the way they normally talk to these kids. Poor little things.
Just read Soundchick's post and I agree with her too...as for the classroom angle, I guess all any teacher can do is treat each child the same, with love and respect, and hopefully they will see that they do matter and they are worth more than how their parents make them feel.
I like the advice of being another example of an adult for these children. Show them that all adults are not monsters.