1) You'd think the school would be more instructive and constructive than defensive and freaked about their own legalities. A parent would obviously be concerned even if he understood that kids will be kids. I would be more impressed if they took the time to talk to me quietly and assured me that the best care was given but some things happen than looking freaked out themselves and sounding guilty that they did something wrong.

Maybe Steve can suggest something like stink-bug juice to discourage other children from biting and scratching. Of course she might lose some social time for that reason.

Glad she is ok and you are too.

2) I'm also glad this wasn't a snake story. :)

3) So what happened to the other child? Was it the same child as last time? If I ran the daycare....ROFL...... a biter would not be allowed back for a week. I bet if he/she bites in high school he'll get suspended.....

4) I have no idea about the other child. They won't disclose that information. If it happens again I will talk to the principal. I am not for kicking kid's out of daycare for biting since it is their defense mechanism at this age and not an uncommon thing. I mean we are working with Dylan on her behavior right now (ignoring tantrums, time-out, etc.) but it is still hard to rationalize with a 17-month old when they are doing something wrong. I guess I am just peeved because they don't want to take any responsibility. I think any business should have good customer service.

5) Poor baby! Your day care sounds like they need a good talkin' to!
ChinaCalling - The kid will probably grow up to be a football star, and be able to bite whomever he wants without getting suspended.

6) Linda, I'm by no means defending the day care; however, silly lawsuits over typical childhood behavior are what cause them to be so defensive. Schools and teachers are terrified of being sued because it's been done, many times. I have no doubt Niki just wants the information and has no desire to sue, but there are parents who instantly go that route. (I've had one threaten myself, actually.)
I worked at a day camp (granted, a bit older bunch), and if a child was in any way violent with another child, s/he was sent home for the day. If it happened a second time, the child was suspended for a week. Again, these were older kids, and they were mature enough to be reasoned with. Like niki points out, young children are difficult to reason with.
With that said what the daycare is doing isn't right at all. They should be forthright with the information. I would think they would call when an incident happened so that the teacher who was there can talk to you, and you can ask questions. That would make a lot more sense than waiting until you come to pick up Dylan.

p.s. Poor Dylan's wrist looks painful. What a tough kid.

7) Poor Dylan. Can you teach her to poke the other kid in the eyes? File her nails into sharp points or get her some acrylics. Maybe you can get each kid to bite down on something and match up the bite marks? lol That would suck though, having your kid bitten twice and feeling like you're not getting enough information.

8) Get a water torture trap...or bring back the stockade. Use Courtney's idea to find out who the kid is, then put him in the stocks for a week. That'll teach him or her.

9) I honestly don't want the name of the child. I just want to know that they are handling these situations accordingly and letting the other parent know that there is a discipline problem. Also, I want to know that they are watching the biters a little more closely so that they don't have a lot of incident reports and working on sharing. We try to work with Dylan at home on sharing too.

Courtney, we are just going to get her some body piercings in the form of tiny spikes that she can use in self defense. I guess it does not help that we slather her in honey and stick cheerios on her every morning. Do you think that is the problem?

10) Mrs. Shoo, I wasn't arguing that point (or didn't mean to). I know people sue at the drop of a hat these days and make HUGE deals out of little boys kissing little girls and blow up these things in the media as well. My point I meant to make was the school handled it poorly. Instead of making the parent feel better and assured they were managing things and dealing with it, they made Niki feel worse about it and more concerned. My main argument was handling the situation better with the parent. Hopefully they handled things better with the parent of the rabid child. :)

11) niki, Did they tell you who the teacher was on duty? Will they let you call and talk to him or her? If not, that is a bit suspect.
I don't think the honey and cheerios are a problem, unless she's being mauled by bears.

12) The teacher's name was on the incident report. I believe she is a "floater" and just comes in and helps out for bathroom breaks, etc. I don't think they were necessarily trying to hide anything, they have probably seen a lot of parents get really angry about these things and have become defensive off the bat. I don't think the teacher is to blame, and I think this is a common thing for this age, I just don't like excuses. I mean if I have a problem at work that is not my fault, I deal with it and it figure it out.

All in all, it is not a bad daycare and we like the teachers, just wish they had better communication which is something we have talked to them about before.

13) Niki, all parents should be like you.

I still think they should bring back the stocks.

14) They should put all of the biters in one room and let them "work it out." That'll teach 'em.

15) I'd hate to be the teacher in that room.

16) Mrs. Shoo: There are no teachers in that room. Only boxing referees.

17) Even with their experience, I think I'd hate to be the boxing ref. I'd rather deal with two adults than a room full of biting toddlers.

18) Ha, you said floater.

19) I really think you should go ahead and talk to the principal now-not about the biter so much as the poor way it was handled. Unless you bring it to their attention it will just continue to be mishandled.Biting is always a problem whether your kid is the bitten or the biter. When Matt was jus a little over 2 years old he bit the nieighbor's PRECIOUS little girl. Her mother came over and just berated to me to the point I was in tears. Matt was banished from playing with their child and Mom stomped off to her palace. I was just mortified and really had no clue how to handle it (Matt was the oldest and my first experience trying to discipline.) That night when I gave him his bath I found a deep bite mark on his shoulder (broke the skin not just bruising) Boy was I happy!! I took great delight in very nicely knocking on her door to show her the damage. After much apologizing we were friends again and I think we both learned something. This isn't really relevant to your situation but I thought it might bring a smile.

20) I agree with several people that the daycare is not handling it right. Being the parent of a former biter and now the parent of a bitee - I can see both sides of the story. In the case of my child - the bitee - it was her best friend who always bit her - I knew this - her parents knew this - we were assured by the daycare that she was put in timeout when it happened and spoken to about it - BUT - kids bite. Particularly in a daycare environment. It's gonna happen and sending a 17 month old for a week is punishing the parents - not teaching the child anything. If anything it is postive reinforcement - "gee - if I bite I get to stay home with mom"

The daycare could communicate with you much much better and I would say something to the director about the afternoon teacher's defensiveness and lack of information.

21) I would investigate how the situation is handled at the time it occurs. That is very important. If they are brushing it off as kids will be kids then it is serious. Hopefully they have a policy in place including a time out or removing the child from the other children for a given period of time. Make sure they are being consistent. Even toddlers can learn that their actions have consequences. I'd speak to the director and voice your concerns. Trust me they don't want to loose Dylan to another daycare. I work as a nurse consultant to several daycare/nursery school programs.

22) I was a biter. I bit all of the kids in my mother's in-home daycare until one day, she did the unthinkable--INSERT GASP--she bit ME! Never bit again. I know they say not to do this these days [damn that Dr. Spock], but I'm just sayin' it worked in 1968.

Now, Galvin bit his sister earlier this year for picking up one of his Hotwheels cars - I think Gwen was about six months old. Anyway, she screamed bloody murder, and I came around the corner from the kitchen (Bill from the bathroom), catching him as he was releasing her forearm. Boy, oh boy, did he catch hell! I scooped Gwendolyn up to comfort her, and Bill took Galvin by the hand and marched him to time-out, where he sat, wailing away, while listening to his sister scream and sob, clutching at her arm [where I had a bag of frozen peas] and clinging to my neck, for about ten minutes.

Finally, when I had Gwen calmed down [after a popsicle], we went to talk to Galvin. We made him look at Gwen's arm to see how badly he hurt her, then told him that under NO circumstances was he EVER to bite her again or anyone else. We told him that he would receive a three-swat spanking on his butt, if he did. From that moment, we watched him like a hawk and sure enough, three days later he made his move again, but he was thwarted by The Momma and her "throaty noise" that makes kids jump ten feet. Even though he hadn't bitten Gwen, he cried immediately, and Bill said, "WE DO NOT BITE, Galvin!" Then I pulled him onto my lap and we talked to him about being frustrated, then helped him to understand other options when he feels that way. He never bit Gwendolyn again, so we must have done the right thing.

Niki, maybe you should talk to the Principal about their discipline methods and how they deal with biters. I know that Galvin was 2 1/2 when this happened at our house and the culprits maiming Dylan are younger, but at least you'll have an idea of how they are handling things.

23) Niki,
Between the dirty outfits, hair and biting I am really upset with the staff at this daycare!
I was a childcare worker, nanny and teacher .
Do they call you during the day to let you know what happened? Is there a behavior plan being used for this classroom?
Do they ever tell you anything positive about Dylan's day?
Ask for a conference with her teacher/s.
Show up at an unexpected time to see what really goes on!
I wish you the best!
Keep me posted
-M

24) No, they do not call when these things happen. They just give us the incident report at the end of the day. We have shown up at various times during the day, and everything has been fine. The playground is where she gets dirty because of the mud and lack of landscaping. They were in the process of changing this and then the principal said that corporate was no longer going to pay. The teachers do give us positive feedback about Dylan. We have heard similar complaints from other friends about other daycares in the area. I am going to talk to the prinicipal about the issues and bring it up at the next parent's association meeting. Thanks for the advice everyone!