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Sunday, June 15th, 2008
Babies' Daddy
This is a tribute to the man who taught me what a father is supposed to be -- my husband, my babies' daddy, Bob. He started out by showing me what a good husband was, then moved to fatherhood.
I didn't get much fathering growing up. My Dad traveled all week every week, and when he was home there wasn't much interaction with anyone. I love my Dad and know he did the best he knew to do, but with his role models, the fathering left much to be desired, especially for four kids who couldn't wait to spend time with him when he finally rolled through the door.
Bob was the opposite. When our first child, Matt, was 6 months old, Bob took the opportunity to leave his insane, intense job. We sold our little house, intending to finish building the sailboat he had been working on for a year, which would become the home for our little family. We would sail the inland waters of the east coast together. We had dreams.
Oops! Dreams interrupted. I was pregnant with our second child, Sarah. On to plan #2 -- Bob has always been a planner! He started his own graphic design business, working on a free-lance basis, doing any work he could get his hands on. Lots of angels came our way and a week after Sarah's due date, we moved from the house we were renting from his brother into the house where we would raise a family and a business. Sarah was born two days later.
Bob chose to work out of a home office because he wanted to see his children grow up -- on a daily basis. The decision came with much stress and difficulty, on both our parts, but neither of us would change a thing. Now, I wouldn't say Bob was completely "present" in those early days, working up to 18 hour days from time to time, but Daddy was home, always available when either of the kids wanted some Daddy time.
No longer seen as a future home, we finished building that sailboat in the back yard and when it was launched on Lake Norman, surrounded by family and friends, 3 year old Matt was jumping up and down on the dock, arms flailing, yelling, "You DID it, Dad, you DID it!" That was a proud Daddy moment.
Our kids learned to swim jumping off the sides of Slow Cure into Dad's arms. We spent just about every weekend during spring, summer and fall on that boat; swimming, sailing, cooking, singing, snoozing and playing games. Bob built little half-bunks for the kids, which were warm, cozy, little dens even in the dead of winter. It was our special place.
After a few years we brought the boat back home and did some refurbishing (an artist is never satisfied with his work) then had it trailered out to the the Pamilico River, at the eastern shore of North Carolina. We spent several more years toodling deep into the back waters, sailing along with dolphins, swimming (not so happily!) with millions of jellyfish, sailing back and forth to Ocracoke and forming a lifetime of memories. We soon outgrew that boat, but continued to sail on chartered boats, and eventually, bought and restored an old 34' sailboat. Sailboats were not just a passion that Bob brought with him into our marriage, but an avenue for being family together.
As a Dad, Bob never missed a school function, a soccer game, gymnastics meet, birthday or any other important event. His kids have been his life. Even the business he built existed because of his kids. He will drop anything, at any minute, to be at the side of his children. Whatever they ask he tries to make happen. Now, when I say his kids, I mean spouses too. As far as Bob is concerned, the moment the kids married he became a father to two more children. And he is obsessed about equality. Whatever he does for one child he must offer the equivalent to the others. That can be a challenge, but he is determined!
Right now, he's in the midst of one of the things he enjoys most in life, building something for his kids. Two years ago he built new kitchen cabinets for Matt and Sarah. Today he is rebuilding a closet for Sarah and Jason, building in cabinets and drawers, a slide-out desk top, and a kitty litter box enclosure, in preparation for the new grandchild. Then he moves on to the crib and changing table...
Can you imagine what being a grandfather will bring out in him?!
I can't wait.
Happy Father's Day to my man.
Babies' Daddy
This is a tribute to the man who taught me what a father is supposed to be -- my husband, my babies' daddy, Bob. He started out by showing me what a good husband was, then moved to fatherhood.
I didn't get much fathering growing up. My Dad traveled all week every week, and when he was home there wasn't much interaction with anyone. I love my Dad and know he did the best he knew to do, but with his role models, the fathering left much to be desired, especially for four kids who couldn't wait to spend time with him when he finally rolled through the door.
Bob was the opposite. When our first child, Matt, was 6 months old, Bob took the opportunity to leave his insane, intense job. We sold our little house, intending to finish building the sailboat he had been working on for a year, which would become the home for our little family. We would sail the inland waters of the east coast together. We had dreams.
Oops! Dreams interrupted. I was pregnant with our second child, Sarah. On to plan #2 -- Bob has always been a planner! He started his own graphic design business, working on a free-lance basis, doing any work he could get his hands on. Lots of angels came our way and a week after Sarah's due date, we moved from the house we were renting from his brother into the house where we would raise a family and a business. Sarah was born two days later.
Bob chose to work out of a home office because he wanted to see his children grow up -- on a daily basis. The decision came with much stress and difficulty, on both our parts, but neither of us would change a thing. Now, I wouldn't say Bob was completely "present" in those early days, working up to 18 hour days from time to time, but Daddy was home, always available when either of the kids wanted some Daddy time.
No longer seen as a future home, we finished building that sailboat in the back yard and when it was launched on Lake Norman, surrounded by family and friends, 3 year old Matt was jumping up and down on the dock, arms flailing, yelling, "You DID it, Dad, you DID it!" That was a proud Daddy moment.
Our kids learned to swim jumping off the sides of Slow Cure into Dad's arms. We spent just about every weekend during spring, summer and fall on that boat; swimming, sailing, cooking, singing, snoozing and playing games. Bob built little half-bunks for the kids, which were warm, cozy, little dens even in the dead of winter. It was our special place.
After a few years we brought the boat back home and did some refurbishing (an artist is never satisfied with his work) then had it trailered out to the the Pamilico River, at the eastern shore of North Carolina. We spent several more years toodling deep into the back waters, sailing along with dolphins, swimming (not so happily!) with millions of jellyfish, sailing back and forth to Ocracoke and forming a lifetime of memories. We soon outgrew that boat, but continued to sail on chartered boats, and eventually, bought and restored an old 34' sailboat. Sailboats were not just a passion that Bob brought with him into our marriage, but an avenue for being family together.
As a Dad, Bob never missed a school function, a soccer game, gymnastics meet, birthday or any other important event. His kids have been his life. Even the business he built existed because of his kids. He will drop anything, at any minute, to be at the side of his children. Whatever they ask he tries to make happen. Now, when I say his kids, I mean spouses too. As far as Bob is concerned, the moment the kids married he became a father to two more children. And he is obsessed about equality. Whatever he does for one child he must offer the equivalent to the others. That can be a challenge, but he is determined!
Right now, he's in the midst of one of the things he enjoys most in life, building something for his kids. Two years ago he built new kitchen cabinets for Matt and Sarah. Today he is rebuilding a closet for Sarah and Jason, building in cabinets and drawers, a slide-out desk top, and a kitty litter box enclosure, in preparation for the new grandchild. Then he moves on to the crib and changing table...
Can you imagine what being a grandfather will bring out in him?!
I can't wait.
Happy Father's Day to my man.
and Pegi... three rounds of tears today...surprise, surprise! I love you.
Hmm, lets see....other great memories with my dad would include: making silly faces, tickle time, skipping out on church and watching American Gladiators (oh yeah!), SNL time (ACting!), knowing with out a doubt that he loves me, canoeing on the lake, trying to fish, laughing, when he taught me with very loving and kind patience how to drive a stick shift (he should have won a medal!), watching him build things - from a sailboat to a tree house to furniture to installing hardwood floors, his unconditional support and trust that we would make the right decisions (whether we did or not), and the list could go on and on and on......
Thanks Dad, for being a REMARKABLE Diddie that I am so lucky to have! Over the last 10 years or so I have really begun to realize how incredible you are and that not everyone has been as lucky as Matt and I have. I feel so bad for friends who cannot even fathom the relationship I have with you because they have not experienced the same unconditional love from their father. I can not imagine what life would be with out your guidance, love and support.
I love you very much, Diddie!
Happy Father's Day!
Seri
'Clam Island' is probably 'Rich Jerk with a Donzi Island' now, and 'Pretty Island' is probably 'Ridiculous Breast Augmentation Island'...or something. I learned great lessons in independence, self-sufficiency, and humor on those boats. I also learned that you were fearless and strong-willed in times of chaos. Whether we were being rolled by seemingly huge waves in a Pamlico storm, running out of daylight looking for a place to moor for the night, or the dingy line had tangled with the prop in jellyfish infested waters, you were in control and got us through it all. I worshiped those traits and always looked to you for guidance and insight. I learned to trust my gut and remain determined but flexible through hard times from those experiences and the decisions that you made everyday, which always had your family's well-being at the core. I am amazed with the patience and encouragement that you and Mom have exercised with me throughout my life that has been full of big, ridiculous dreams and often selfish motivations. You always listened and encouraged me to be humble and to trust my instincts. My inner voice was your voice and carried me through many hard times as a teenager and helped me to be the sensible one when surrounded by so many temptations and harmful behavior. I still hear your lessons everyday as I make decisions that potentially effect the rest of my life and all others involved in it. I am blessed to have had such a loving, strong, responsible, reliable, compassionate role model and always knew that I could count on you to steer me in the right direction. As I have grown I have come to appreciate you as not only as a mentor and father, but also as a great friend that I look forward to seeing and talking to. Looking forward to both of those tonight! Happy Fathers Day Dad. I love you.
And your Dad and I are undone!
Love you.
(ps Pegi, you're a fantastic writer)