1) Aww ..... you're a wonderful mommy. And your kids will know that. I think they already do. Dad's always get to be billed as the fun guy. Especially when they're away so much. Don't be so hard on yourself. (I know this is easier said than done.) They're good kids and they didn't get that way without you. (hugs)

2) Thanks but I'm REALLY having a moment right now. lol I just feel like I am totally screwing this whole thing up. I think I need a nap. rflmbo

3) you're not... and you know you could call me. And, "I think I need a nap" should never be followed by "rflmbo".... or maybe it should so I know when its okay and when it's really not.

4) I don't think I am so far gone I need a nap. And I didn't know if you were awake. And I am already doing the Bridges cry so no need to make it any worse. And no I have no clue what brought this one. I want to go get the kids though and pile them all in my bed. lol

5) give them ice cream... or warm pudding... you'll be fun and silly. :)

6) Maybe we will make cookies or something tomorrow. But it goes deeper than that. I am seriously beginning to think I am bi-polar. It is getting that crazy. Or maybe I am just in the throes of pms and need some premsyn.

7) premsyn... definately try that. I'm sure it's not cancer or anything too serious.... I have to go to bed. You really can call if it gets too bad. for now... you should get some sleep. Hug and kiss the kids before you go to bed. Say a prayer for peace and patience. and I'll call you tomorrow to see how you're doing.

8) Ok talk to ya tomorrow.

9) Sorry to "cut in," but I've had days like these, too, but the other days when I'm not constantly frustrated with my kids far outweigh the others. One thing I try to do every day is to look for moments when they ARE "doing it right," and then praise them for that. Like today, Galvin was being such a nice brother, sharing his firetrucks with his baby sister and including her in his scenario, so I told him so at that moment despite the fact that two minutes later he was screaming bloody murder that she was "messing it up!" Like I've always said, some days you're the windshield, some days you're the bug. Hope you have a better day tomorrow, and don't be so hard on yourself!

10) Aw Angi you aren't cutting in. And I too try to find the right things so I can praise them. I think part of my issue is PMS....I suffer pretty seriously from that. Also my youngest had her tonsils out on Thursday so I have her grumpy in pain self at home. My husband is gone for work. The kids had a four day weekend with another one coming up. Oh and my husband has to work Saturday too. So I already know my weekend is shot. *sigh* I think things have piled up and I need to just shake them off.

11) Oh man, I hear ya. Are you full time at home? I think that makes it even harder... you have more time around the kids so you automatically get more time as the "bad guy". But hormones can definitely be part of it. And whether it's pms or bi-polar or something else... if it is affecting you long term, it might be worth talking to someone about. I had a friend who finally saw a therapist for depression. She finally realized that it was the depression that was making her so angry all the time. But honestly, the fact that you are aware of it means that you are already way ahead of the curve. Oh, also, is there something else you love? A hobby? Maybe you can find a way to do it with them. Or, maybe having a once a month special one-on-one time with each of them... even if it's only an hour where you guys just go and hang out at a coffee shop or something. The fact that you think about this shows that you are obviously a good, loving parent. But, y'know, a while ago my 3yo wanted me to pretend play something, and I finally just said flat out that I didn't know how. He had to tell me. And I felt awful for that. How could I not know??? How could I not know how to play???? But I know they know they are loved. and I bet your kids do too. I hope tomorrow is better.

12) A few years ago one of my kids gave me a poem about being a "mean" mom. I cried and cried. I used to tell them, "I wouldn't be doing you any favors if I didn't "make" you do your own laundry or learn how to clean the bathroom or learn to be a responsible person. Their Dad traveled alot and I also worked. There were day that I felt like I never smiled. I think your friends have given you good advice, especially about checking things out with your doctor-I got help with depression and it changed my whole outlook on life. On your next four day break-forget about things that need to be done, pack a picnic and load the kids and go to the nearest park and play. Swing on the swings, run with them, kick ball and hunt for 4 leaf clovers. I think as a parent we get so wrapped up in the day to day things that we have to just stop and shift gears. Now that I am a grandparent I play all the time. Sometimes I wish I had let the dirty clothes pile up, took the phone of the hook (no cells back then) and just played with my kids.Today is a new day and I hope you slept well and fel better. Go for a walk today and watch a silly movie. You have good friends and helping each other through rouh bumps is what it is all about.

13) Thanks all...I feel somewhat better. As far as hobbies..I like to read. And yes I am a SAHM and have been really for four years. My husband is supportive and allows me time alone and what not. I don't always worry about the laundry or dishes in the sink. I do try to have one on one time with them even if it is just running to the store and only taking one. I don't think I have depression....I know what clinical depression is and I'm not that. I really think it is just PMS and things building up. I will be ok in a few days.

14) ok but check back in so we know you are ok for sure-do something nice for yourself today.

15) Just know that you aren't alone. Being a SAHM is really by far the hardest thing I personally have ever done. I am not one of those moms who just loves it to pieces. It is *work* for me for sure. But I know my kids are getting a lot out of it, and I'm sure yours are too.

16) Kudos to you for speaking up! It takes a lot of courage to admit the ways we feel we don't measure up, ESPECIALLY when it comes to motherhood. Rather than allowing ourselves to be human and have limits, frustrations, imperfections, etc., our culture tends to espouse a model of motherhood (which we buy into) that emphasizes unfailing happiness, 24-7 emotional availability and selfless devotion (often performed in quasi-isolation, without breaks or enough rest). Noble goals but but not particularly realistic. When you get down to it, it really isn't ever possible for anyone to be exactly who we need them to be all the time.

Of course it's a good thing for us to look within and modify where we need to (as it sounds like you're doing), but in a way that's kind and gentle and gives us permission to make mistakes (most of us didn't come from this kind of environment so it's extra hard when we're trying to create for them what we never got to experience). It isn't impossible, but when we didn't have it modeled for us, it's definitely extra work.

I once read an article by a father who was CEO of his company. He found himself questioning his parental skills and whether he was being the kind of father his children wanted/needed him to be, so he decided to approach the situation the way he would if he were trying to get to the bottom of an issue in his company. He surveyed them. He found some quiet time with each one and simply began to ask them their thoughts about how he was doing as a dad. He said he was surprised to learn that some of the things he'd berated himself for weren't a big deal to them, and other things that were important he'd been clueless about. What do you need more of from me?, what do you wish I wouldn't do?, what do I do that you like?, do I make you feel I love you? - were the types of questions he asked.

Most people/ cultures don't encourage the idea of children evaluating their parents, likely because parents would feel their authority questioned or diminished, or that it might give children a newfound sense of power (that the parents don't want them to feel/have). But done in the right spirit and adjusted for age-appropriateness, I think this could be a really powerful, relationship-changing exercise. This isn't a conversation about more clothes, toys or priveleges. It's a conversation about feelings. What children HAVE will largely be forgotten. How they FEEL will not.

Just remember to be kind to yourself and it will be easier to be kind to your children. Wishing you peace.................

17) Wow A that was the perfect post for me at this time. I have read the Five Love Languages and that book really helped how I interact with my children. I found that my eldest needs touch, my middle one needs words of affirmation and my youngest needs touch also. Once I "got" that it is so much easier to make their little faces shine. I don't do either one of those things. I am an acts of kindness so the other things really never really occurred to me.

I also like your suggestion of actually asking the children. That too never occurred to me. Don't know why but it didn't. I will have to try that.

I have also decided I need to contact my doctor. I don't think I am bi-polar although my mother is and I know it can be genetic. I do however think I am premenopausal. I also know there are ways to treat that so I don't feel so out of control.

18) A very thoughtfull reponse.