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Monday, September 10th, 2012

The Wedding Blog

Okay, so this has nothing to do with foster care.

And I'd like to start off the blog by saying I am judging no one. I am making observations....not declaring one person Bad and the other Good.

(But really...I am. Hee hee hee, it's my blog I can judge if I want too)

So, S and I have been involved in two weddings as of late.

Wedding number one happened a couple weeks ago for a good high school friend of S. Let's call that friend Dino. Now, Dino is a nice guy, probably one of my favorite of the crew S hung around with in his days of eating entire large pizzas, buying 1000s of cds, and devoting large amounts of time analyzing Kurt Cobain's melancholy pauses in songs.

Anyway, Dino got married. I didn't attend due to sudden-kid-duty (wait, there's the foster care connection!) but S went.

It was a great day. A beautiful service, a lovely reception at a park. Kids everywhere, good food, even a snow-cone machine! The bride was lovely and the groom looked sharp in the suit he was conscripted to wear.

Now wedding number two happens soon for another one of S's high school friends. Let's call this friend Pat. Now, Pat is a nice guy. S and Pat grew up together, spending lots of time making giant snowballs and taking turns quitting games in dramatic anger and defeat. The developed their hatred of losing with each other. But, really Pat IS a nice guy and S is honored to serve as a groomsman in his Wedding.

Wedding, yes I said Wedding, this is no ordinary wedding. This is a Nuptial Event. The invitation was a small booklet. There are bridal brunches, lunches, and Special Socks. There are seating charts and escort cards and so far I've counted 4 bachelorette parties. There are at least two wedding dresses that will make their debut and I am just waiting for the declaration on the type of underwear the groomsmen have to wear.

It's been nuts! This is my first real encounter with a bridezilla AND groomzilla. S and I have been so entertained by this ordeal. I'm almost sad it will soon be over.

I'm hoping the bride will have something to live for once she doesn't have to worry about the thread count of her taffeta and the possibility that someone might dare bring a CHILD to her wedding.

Yes, no kids. I know that's a personal choice, and I do respect it. But it makes me a little sad. I think weddings are about families. And children. And the future. Especially Catholic weddings.

So LG and I will stay home (the wedding's out-of-state and the groomsmen have to report for duty the Thursday before). I won't get to be awed by the double-dressed bride. It's cool. Weeks before the wedding, S informed the groom I wouldn't be able to attend because of LG coming back to us. The groom graciously ignored asking S how LG was doing and how the situation was working out. Instead he just let us know he'd already turned in the numbers....but it would be okay...kind of.

Yes, I'm being snarky. No, I don't really mean it that much. I'm happy they are making this move in their lives. I do wish them the very best in happiness and health. I just think somewhere along the way a lot of couples have gotten derailed on what marriage and weddings are really about. I hope for Pat's sake everything goes as planned. I hope for the couple's sake that the reality of life as a married couple completely outshines the glitter and rose petals of The Wedding.

A wedding should be a beginning, not an end. Too often, after the years-long engagements and soul-consuming periods of wedding planning that seem popular now, I think the day after is a let-down.


6 Comments
ppike
Amen, sister!
pegi   Monday, September 10, 2012
I've seen them done many ways, mine included-the less fuss the happier everyone is. I agree it shoud be about families but then I'm all about families and I know some people are not.
dannie   Tuesday, September 11, 2012
SarahS
I'm all about families at weddings too! We are getting married in November and we've been the total opposite of the second couple. No bachelor or bachelorette parties. Instead one big party for our families and close friends, kids included.
Snelly   Wednesday, September 12, 2012
igna83
As a wedding photographer, I would prefer no kids at wedding ceremonies. Then again, as a wedding photographer, I would prefer kids IN wedding ceremonies. Wait. Does this make ANY sense?? Oh, and as a wedding photographer, I would prefer MY kids NOT be at wedding ceremonies. Or receptions. Thank you. lol
Angi   Wednesday, September 12, 2012
We just went to a no kid wedding. I think my husband is still upset about it. Not that we were going to bring our son but he didn't like it was specified ...no children.
I can see how you found this whole wedding entertaining. It does make you wonder if the couple wants to get married or just have a wedding.
We rented out a summer camp for our wedding. I wanted kids there and I wanted the adults to feel like kids. No shoes or shirts were required. Best day of my life (that and when Jasper was born, of course).
Spike   Friday, September 14, 2012
girlcarew
I love kids at weddings. I'm all with you Sandd!
girlcarew   Sunday, September 16, 2012
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